The totally off-topic thread

[love_the_life]

My 92yr father in law passed tonight, at home.

I scored great in laws. He was always welcoming and funny.

My husband on the other hand deserves a smack around the ears, he left a message on his brother's phone, "Bob. It's Tom. Dad's dead."

Idiot. Thankfully he got to him before he heard the message.

Very sorry to hear your news Denali. My condolences to you and your family. At 92 it sounds as if he had a full life full of experiences to share and there will be a big hole in your lives.
Thinking of you.

 

[love_the_life]

Our EA's daughter in England had a baby this week. All visitors are prohibited from visiting for the next few weeks - that's ok, settling and bonding. But they wont allow her mum to visit over Christmas when our office shuts down for 3 weeks. But she is allowed to come up for a visit in mid January or later.

I fully understand the limitation of visitors for the first few weeks but feel very sorry for our EA who can't spend a first Christmas for her first and likely only grandchild. And our office starts up the week she is allowed to fly to England to see them and no leave left. Plus we need her in the office as there is a major project kicking off that she leads.

The new mother is a project manager. And that is the plan she has for her baby daughter. Babies don't like being project managed.

Is this the new mother's rules? If so she could do with a good slap.


Take special care to be kind to yourself over this time Pushka. Memories of your Mum will catch unawares at times.

 

[Denali]

.... our EA who can't spend a first Christmas for her first and likely only grandchild. .....

Im Team Mum. New mums get first dibs on all of babys "firsts", if she wants a nuclear first Christmas then thats to be respected. Babies dont go off - she will be just as cute in January.

And speaking about new projects, our IT team did a SAP upgrade and one of my "enhancements" is that F.99 no longer works - the new and improved F.99 is S_ALR_87012172.

Really? Coundnt make it any harder to remember?

 

[Pushka]

Is this the new mother's rules? If so she could do with a good slap.


Take special care to be kind to yourself over this time Pushka. Memories of your Mum will catch unawares at times.

Yes. I am already starting to see this. Last year we had no Christmas decorations as she had her stroke on the Saturday morning at around 7am on the day we normally put them up. This year will be very different as our sons partner will be staying with us - last year she returned to the UK to be with her parents. Which was a good thing as last Christmas was just 2 days after mum's funeral and my brother and I drowned our sorrows in blush Moët. Almost a bottle each over the day.

 

[Pushka]

Im Team Mum. New mums get first dibs on all of babys "firsts", if she wants a nuclear first Christmas then thats to be respected. Babies dont go off - she will be just as cute in January.

But there is no option for her to go in mid January. We have to close over Christmas for 3 weeks but then are full on. And her work requires liaison with others who are likewise not available over Christmas. We are a small business of just her being the full time EA and this project was planned months ago. So we can't release her. She has no leave left as she took a month in July to see her other daughter married in the U.K.

Our EA's mother who is 92 and lives in Adelaide said to her that she has taken a bit of joy from the new baby and I tend to agree. They are only allowed to call Sunday nights for a maximum of 15 minutes and after that she will terminate the call. This was before the baby was born (I get why this is a good idea after baby). They were only allowed to buy 1 gift for the baby that was picked from a list and no Christmas presents at all.

Just seems extreme. And a little soulless.

 

[drron]

I agree Pushka.Quite soulless.

 

[Pushka]

I think I forgot to mention. The new mother has a Project Management business in the U.K. Sometimes work practices and babies don't mix. . The baby will win that battle.

 

[Denali]

..... They are only allowed to call Sunday nights for a maximum of 15 minutes and after that she will terminate the call. This was before the baby was born (I get why this is a good idea after baby). They were only allowed to buy 1 gift for the baby that was picked from a list and no Christmas presents at all.

Just seems extreme. And a little soulless.

I would suggest that there is a lot of prior issues that resulted in these boundries.

People dont just wake up and say, Hey. Im going to be a cough to that person and create all these rules. There is always prior issues when you find a relationship like this.

 

[Pushka]

I would suggest that there is a lot of prior issues that resulted in these boundries.

People dont just wake up and say, Hey. Im going to be a cough to that person and create all these rules. There is always prior issues when you find a relationship like this.

You know - my wise 26 year old son said exactly the same thing.

I just feel for her, she is excited and sad at the same time.

And you and my son are pretty much spot on. I suspect there are long held feelings over her parents divorce which was a very long time ago. I don't know any of those details, just that it happened. But sometimes you just gotta get over stuff. And maybe being a mother and all the stresses that involves, might make her look at her parents divorce in a new light.

 

[blackcat20]

All I can add is that "generally" Daughters-in-law DO NOT GET ALONG with their mothers-in-law - YOU ( males ) may THINK they DO but in fact they DO NOT.

Fortunately I get on with mine. In fact, my mum gets on well with her too and they do the odd holiday together...

But there is no option for her to go in mid January. We have to close over Christmas for 3 weeks but then are full on. And her work requires liaison with others who are likewise not available over Christmas. We are a small business of just her being the full time EA and this project was planned months ago. So we can't release her. She has no leave left as she took a month in July to see her other daughter married in the U.K.

Our EA's mother who is 92 and lives in Adelaide said to her that she has taken a bit of joy from the new baby and I tend to agree. They are only allowed to call Sunday nights for a maximum of 15 minutes and after that she will terminate the call. This was before the baby was born (I get why this is a good idea after baby). They were only allowed to buy 1 gift for the baby that was picked from a list and no Christmas presents at all.

Just seems extreme. And a little soulless.

Some seriously controlling behaviour there. How mean!

Daisy update: she was desexed yesterday. Quite miserable last night (I even copped a bite) but back to her bouncy destructive self this morning.

 

[Pushka]

Fortunately I get on with mine. In fact, my mum gets on well with her too and they do the odd holiday together...



Some seriously controlling behaviour there. How mean!

Daisy update: she was desexed yesterday. Quite miserable last night (I even copped a bite) but back to her bouncy destructive self this morning.
View attachment 84731

It does feel mean but there is no other option. Probably might make sure you have no good shoes lying around for a couple of days.

 

[Pushka]

I think I would make a good mother in law. But I can see why daughters in law have a different relationship than daughters. There is that tiny bit of 'distance' that just subtly alters the relationship.

My sons are 31 and 26. Every year except for 1 year I have bought them an advent calendar. One year I didn't - I think younger son was in Thailand, and the eldest son put on such a fuss.

Last year I bought some Haighs reusable pocket calendars. And bought an extra one for older sons partner This was in November before it all went to carp.

Thankfully sons partner kept them in a safe place when they moved. So this year off to Haighs to buy 3 refills. Love Haighs chocolate but just wonder how many more years I will be buying advent calendars!

 

[blackcat20]

It does feel mean but there is no other option. Probably might make sure you have no good shoes lying around for a couple of days.

Oh I meant mean of the new mother, not you!

Haha yes, shes quite a chewer. Ted is running out of stuffing. Fortunately her bite left just the tiniest bruise and nothing more...she was pretty hungry and I got in her way.

 

[Pushka]

Oh I meant mean of the new mother, not you!

Haha yes, shes quite a chewer. Ted is running out of stuffing. Fortunately her bite left just the tiniest bruise and nothing more...she was pretty hungry and I got in her way.

. I meant giving our pets 'the works' feeling mean. I tied too many things together. Brain fog on my part.

 

[Denali]

I think I would make a good mother in law. But I can see why daughters in law have a different relationship than daughters. There is that tiny bit of 'distance' that just subtly alters the relationship

I really, really like my mother in law. Shes never been intrusive and has always respect my husband and I as our own family unit. Im sure Im not the good greek daughter in law that she wished she had but if shes ever been negative about me as her sons wife, Ive not heard it in 20yrs. And we live next door to each other so a testimate to how respectful she is.

Just because you marry someone doesnt mean their family is your family. You break off to make your own nuclear family.

 

[Denali]

Dishwasher question.

Any suggestions for a new office dishwasher for about 20-30 people.

We've had a Bosch for years and not happy with it.

 

[love_the_life]

I think I forgot to mention. The new mother has a Project Management business in the U.K. Sometimes work practices and babies don't mix. . The baby will win that battle.

And me, being a bit mean, hope baby trashes the planning. Can see tears ahead for mother if she doesn't lighten up. I can see the importance of bonding etc, but heck it's a few weeks till the Christmas shutdown, so not as if baby is brand spanking new (as in days old). Also I think that babies brought up in large extended families with people around all the time do as well, if not better, than the closeted/bonded bubs. Just my 2c worth. I think new mum is quite selfish.

 

[blackcat20]

. I meant giving our pets 'the works' feeling mean. I tied too many things together. Brain fog on my part.

Oh I can blame post-surgery head fog....still feel like a zombie.

I dont feel mean given she just peed on the dog bed immediately after coming in from outside.

 

[Quickstatus]

Dishwasher question.

Any suggestions for a new office dishwasher for about 20-30 people.

We've had a Bosch for years and not happy with it.

Number of people in office really does not matter. As soon as its full turn it on. Of course the problem is making it full.....
The F&P Double Dishdrawer Dishwashwe ones are good because it allows 2 batches to be done separately. Though they are a bit more expensive.

 

[Denali]

Number of people in office really does not matter. As soon as its full turn it on. Of course the problem is making it full.....
The F&P Double Dishdrawer Dishwashwe ones are good because it allows 2 batches to be done separately. Though they are a bit more expensive.

My office problem is not filling the machine, its the Fairies that are suppose to empty it because its "someone elses job".

Oh, and the idiots that stack it in such a way that water can never get to it. The bosses PA wants to remove it altogether and make people bring in their own cups.