Two errant lines intersect in Chile, a TR with two perspectives.

[juddles]

That evening the façade of friendship was hard to maintain. I knew from his demenour that he was angry. I had cleary foiled some plan and he was not happy. Even so, we had to eat, so I took him to a simple eatery. Very basic. I am not inhumane.

But after sitting down, and daring to blink, lo and behold there suddenly appeared two Pisco Sours in front of us. This was a skillful move on his part, but he was unlucky in that I knew this specific place does not serve coughtails. So it was clear to me that the liquid before me was unholy.



Knowing that the apparition of said ingestible was an ill omen, ridden with who knows what toxin, but yet still having to continue the charade of friendship, I skillfully diverted his attention for a few seconds ( by drawing attention to the buxom waitress to my left), and in those milliseconds I plied the drinks with powdered kale. This compound is IMHO the best anti-everything savior that exists on the planet. If it can kill an F experience on Emirates, it can surely destroy mere toxins in a spiked drink.

It worked.

I retained my senses, even more enfuriating my enemy.

 

[juddles]

The next day started late. I assumed he was exhausted equally to me because of an unsound sleep - a rare delight to me to know he is sufferring.

We headed out for a short drive to suss out some local villages. Not what he wanted to do, but I held the power of the car keys.

I made us stop in an insignificant village square - nothing he can do to create mayhem here. I left him in the park to wallow in defeat, but then as I returned I discovered an even more sinister side to him - the hideous nature that truly reveals The Beast. He was toying with a poor starving dog.



To me this simple image truly captures Evil. Understand the scene. There is a really cute dog, friendly as in the way that that time immemorial bond between humans and canines is. But in the off-tourist season that we are now in, the dog is hungry. And here the Botanist laughs hideously as he ingests morsel after morsel, gaining joy at the gathering saliva that the starving animal suffers. My level of hatred rises even further....

 

[craven morehead]

That evening the façade of friendship was hard to maintain. I knew from his demenour that he was angry. I had cleary foiled some plan and he was not happy. Even so, we had to eat, so I took him to a simple eatery. Very basic. I am not inhumane.

But after sitting down, and daring to blink, lo and behold there suddenly appeared two Pisco Sours in front of us. This was a skillful move on his part, but he was unlucky in that I knew this specific place does not serve coughtails. So it was clear to me that the liquid before me was unholy.

View attachment 158489

Knowing that the apparition of said ingestible was an ill omen, ridden with who knows what toxin, but yet still having to continue the charade of friendship, I skillfully diverted his attention for a few seconds ( by drawing attention to the buxom waitress to my left), and in those milliseconds I plied the drinks with powdered kale. This compound is IMHO the best anti-everything savior that exists on the planet. If it can kill an F experience on Emirates, it can surely destroy mere toxins in a spiked drink.

It worked.

I retained my senses, even more enfuriating my enemy.

@juddles your writing skills are blossoming at an alarming rate. Have you started on that book yet?

 

[JohnM]

And I’m sitting two metres away listening to the evil cackle while he pounds that keyboard .

 

[juddles]

But, yet again, damn!! Every step of this journey is repetitive. I think I understand my foe, but always he is one step ahead.

And the sheer DARING of the man! He is running me in circles and rubbing my nose in it. I though I was alert, I thought I was in control, but I am not

I feel the shame of the champion entrusted with the village's defense, who has let them down. This afternoon I went for a drive, needing to distance myself from this maniac. I got into the car, turned the key, drove around the first corner, and then..... I cried.

just yesterday this valley was beautiful. Endless vineyards, beautiful, green, prosperous. But now!!!!





This OVERNIGHT!! I thought I had him under control, bested, but he has gutted this serene region. Leaving dry dirt and wind-blown relics in his path.

I am almost giving up, almost bested.

I will use my last strength for a final assault, a final defense. I have a few kilos of dried kale still, and a tender internet connection that may allow me to download some special NP inspiration. As they say, fight fire with fire.

Tomorrow I feel will be the finale. I have to relinquish my morals. Go for the throat. Relinquish all qualms and do what has to be done, even though it violates the good folk involved. So i will gather all things powerful, insane, yet, brutally efficient. My foe here is a botanist. Someone in tune with the Natural. I will summon, like an ancient warlock, all at my disposal. This is the final battle.

My kale, my NP inspiration, an AJ guidance, all these things I will unleash in an ultimate battle.

Wish me well.

 

[RooFlyer]

And a vein of something running up a mountain, just for @RooFlyer.

That's a cough. You tomcats are so busy fighting that you are completely overlooking the glories of the supra-plutonic volcanic landscapes. Just phwoar ! Put a dozer though those avocados and the true glory of the place would have been revealed.

 

[juddles]

That's a cough. You tomcats are so busy fighting that you are completely overlooking the glories of the supra-plutonic volcanic landscapes. Just phwoar ! Put a dozer though those avocados and the true glory of the place would have been revealed.

Rooflyer, you should have some idea what it is to travel with JohnM, - he sees these and initially tries to call them arteries!!! AAARRRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!

 

[JohnM]

Uncouth riff-raff invader....

My avocado agronomist mate back home was blown away by that pic . There are some of us who know where their food comes from....

 

[JohnM]

Rooflyer, you should have some idea what it is to travel with JohnM, - he sees these and initially tries to call them arteries!!! AAARRRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!

Aren’t the big ones arteries and the little ones veins?

 

[jxv]

Knowing that the apparition of said ingestible was an ill omen, ridden with who knows what toxin, but yet still having to continue the charade of friendship, I skillfully diverted his attention for a few seconds ( by drawing attention to the buxom waitress to my left), and in those milliseconds I plied the drinks with powdered kale. This compound is IMHO the best anti-everything savior that exists on the planet. If it can kill an F experience on Emirates, it can surely destroy mere toxins in a spiked drink.

It worked.

I retained my senses, even more enfuriating my enemy.

Kale! Who would have thought that this unappetising so-called superfood can be used as a weapon in the fight against Evil!

 

[Bindibuys]

I have been called a witch a few times..... need some spells Juddles?

 

[Lynda2475]

In my visit to Peru I tried lots of different flavoured pisco sours, maracuya (passionfruit) if my favourite, but I'm guessing the green one you sampled is either Tuna (Prickly Pear Fruit) or Kiwi given lack of taste not likely to be the Aji sour.

 

[jxv]

In my visit to Peru I tried lots of different flavoured pisco sours, maracuya (passionfruit) if my favourite, but I'm guessing the green one you sampled is either Tuna (Prickly Pear Fruit) or Kiwi given lack of taste not likely to be the Aji sour.

Peruvians consider themselves superior to Chileans in the art of blending pisco sours, but the only original one is the plain Chilean version, or so do the Chileans want you to believe.

Ever since the war of 1836-1839 the relations between Peru and Chile have been strained. I think it was in the 1980s that there was a big spy scandal. The Chilean government had been found to spy on the Peruvians. The Peruvian newspapers asked: what secret could the Chileans be after? The answer of course was: the recipe for the Peruvian superior pisco sour!

 

[RossM]

Juddles, don't give up. Quickly, make contact with QF, develop a plan and use it to threaten to have JohnM banned from 1A. That will surely give you the winning edge.

 

[JohnM]

Where’s the dislike button when it’s needed? .

 

[juddles]

Juddles, don't give up. Quickly, make contact with QF, develop a plan and use it to threaten to have JohnM banned from 1A. That will surely give you the winning edge.

RossM, by the time I have finished with "the Botanist", he will be lucky to get a bus pass........

 

[juddles]

In my visit to Peru I tried lots of different flavoured pisco sours, maracuya (passionfruit) if my favourite, but I'm guessing the green one you sampled is either Tuna (Prickly Pear Fruit) or Kiwi given lack of taste not likely to be the Aji sour.

Lynda, that one we had was a bit of a strange one. It was in fact technically a straight pisco sour, but as speciality of the restaurant, they use a "sweetening liquid" in addition to the pisco and lemon juice. This colour and the tiny leaf bits come from that mystery sweetening juice. They also heavily emphasized that they do not use any ice, but rather keep all the ingredients in the freezer....

 

[juddles]

That's a cough. You tomcats are so busy fighting that you are completely overlooking the glories of the supra-plutonic volcanic landscapes. Just phwoar ! Put a dozer though those avocados and the true glory of the place would have been revealed.

if your post was referring to "the glories of the supra-plutonic pisco sours....Just phwoar!!!" we would finally be speaking the same lingo

 

[juddles]

Back to the fight of Good versus Evil: today was complex.

After the Botanist's admittedly successful efforts to destroy local vineyards and Pisco production, I took him back out of the valley quietly, thinking that an apparently defeated posture was the correct tactical tool. But I was not in fact defeated, in the sense that although I lost the last battle, I knew I could still win this war!

The loss of the vineyards was a bitter pill for me to swallow. As I tossed and turned endlessly during the night, I fell back to a concept that was unique in that it could heal my conscience, even if not the grape fields. This concept was simple - REVENGE!!

I played, expertly, the part of the loser. The Botanist, clearly still reveling in his demise of my fields, had a small window of vulnerability that only a victor in the moment of glory has. So I hammerred this.

In my meekness, playing the now-dominated, I offerred an apparent desperate prize - the opportunity to eat the world's best "completo". This is the Chilean traditional hotdog thing. Being who I am, ever triply careful, I had already laid the foundations for this, talking it up in previous days. I even took the Botanist to mediocre places to sample lesser versions that would surely pique his interest. But now I was, in that apparent defeat, offerring the Holy Grail in that department.

Being the scum that he truly is, the Botanist fell on this concept like a hyena on KFC. His eyes became alive, he salivated, I knew he was hooked! So I took this opportunity to unleash, in a deliciously ironical way, my own biological attack.

A completo is a hot dog. But the way they do it here is a "fresh" toasted bun, a processed "meat" hot dog, with layers of avocado puree, diced tomatoes, home-made egg mayonnaise, and "mustard". Sounds delicious, and it can be. But there are simply endless opportunities for biological crime.

Despite my hatred for this evildoer, even I baulked at what i was about to do. But I did it. The pain of the deceased grape fields allowed me to justify the horror I would hopefully unleash.

I convinced him that I knew of a "special place", somewhere the hotdogs were truly magnificent, that they were the real authentic thing. I knew this would play to his ever present need for bragging rights about getting beyond the usual. I lengthily explained to him that in this era of modern living, to get true authentic cuisine you had to get out into the real "working-class community". Shady areas. He lapped all this up like a kitten with warm milk He was hooked.

So I took him to a place that even in Chile is something not spoken about - it is the latest in a series of fast-food providers that are being constantly closed by the health authorities, due to the carnage their offerings bring. These are the places of horror stories. The bread is made with wheat so tainted it is unsaleable. The "hot dogs" are made with animals no human has ever desired. The avocado is actually a completely chemical green thing made from industrial chemical waste. The mustard is left-overs from other things that is simply yellow and burns. But to me, with deep knowledge of these things, it is the "mayo" that fills me with dread. It is made from "fresh eggs", but by God there is not a culture on earth that can breed such abberant micro-organisms as this thing. (Contemplating this, I even falter as I write this and think I have gone too far.... )

The following two photos catch my moment of glory (and also hideous self-judgement):

 

[juddles]

Lured into the trap, here the Botanist is captured in his fall -



And a closer shot of the mayhem he ingested:



It felt good getting revenge, but now as I post this I feel almost remorse. Apart from the other things, I know the true nature of that homemade mayo. Lethal.

Biological warfare such as this takes time - can be minutes or months. The Botanist has just said goodnight, still feeling well. Now I am in twilight zone. Remorse for what he will suffer, but knowing he deserves this.

I give it about 4 hours before the initial symptoms wake him. He will first awake, unsettled. Then he will crave water. Then he will get an urge to get to a toilet. He will remain on that toilet, as the process speeds up. He will be trapped. The effects of that mayo will keep him there. He will get quickly ever more ill. As I write this I realize I timed it perfectly. It will be 2am when he discovers he is really in trouble. There is no Hope at that hour.

In the subsequent hours he will transform, in a hideous biological algorithm, from solid state to a smear in my house's second bathroom toilet bowl.

Tomorrow I will awake and remember this. I will go to that second bathroom and use the brush to dislodge any bits, any stains. A flush or two later he will be gone from my reality, and I will be happy. Truly so.

But I admit in advance that I resorted to this - a truly hideous way to lose.