Worst cabin announcement

[Captain Halliday]

Funnily enough I’m here now and I’d say it’s 1999.

Ha! If it’s a slip and you want any tips on where to eat... or more importantly where NOT to eat... feel free to hit me up.

 

[Justinf]

After an aborted landing at OOL, the captain says "Sorry folks, I let the work experience kid try and land the plane today and it nearly didn't end too well. Just joking, there was another aircraft just taxing off the runway so we thought it best to play it safe and go around again."

 

[docjames]

It’s never great to hear “If any passengers onboard are medically trained could they please make themselves known to the cabin crew” (or any similar announcement).

They aren’t finding you to give you an upgraded seat........



Mind you (for those that resemble the above), there’s at least one pax on board who it’s substantially worse for......

 

[GlobalT]

Taking off from an airport in Nepal many years ago when we heard a noise outside. Capital comes over the PA and says “in case any of you were wondering what that noise was, so am I so we are turning around”.

 

[gluewell14]

Taking off from an airport in Nepal many years ago when we heard a noise outside. Capital comes over the PA and says “in case any of you were wondering what that noise was, so am I so we are turning around”.

Did you find out what it was?

 

[mannej]

I would have to suggest whilst not personally experiencing the comments that Capt Eric Moody's comments whilst facing the issues on BA9 must be one of the worst announcements to hear as a passenger.

 

[GlobalT]

Did you find out what it was?

No, never did from memory but ended up on another aircraft.

 

[Mattg]

"Welcome to Canberra. If you're returning home, welcome home. Otherwise, we wish you a safe onward flight to your final destination."

 

[Deleted member 29185]

On VA a couple years back, the pregnant CSM made an announcement after the first cart-service and clearance had been completed on an evening SYD-CNS flight, "It is the crew's rest time now, please don't press the call bell..."

The most unusual thing about this, is that they announced the expected!

 

[Deleted member 29185]

I actually clicked by accident on this thread, and must admit to quite a few chuckles ...
so from me, are the following:

1. Ansett - "sorry, a mast was in our way" ... landing at Hamilton Island followed by a go around.
2. Hevilift - "sorry about that, a bloody big bird was in our way" ... taking off from Mt Hagen following a near lift off speed to dramatic halt and 2nd attempt at take off. (bird was later identified as a Cassowary )
3. Un-named bush pilot in Highlands PNG - "don't worry if the engines fail, it's only the abrupt stop at the end that hurts". Names kept secret for fear of bush-knife retaliation.
4. Same pilot - "upon landing, feel free to exit though any hole in the fuselage".

I'll have more, but I'm tired just now!

 

[pjm99au]

Now defunct US airline who’s name temporarily escapes me 747 Osaka to Sydney. Paraphrasing as it was 25 odd years ago

“Ladies and gentlemen we’ve lost power in one engine. Nothing to be alarmed about we can happily fly on three. We’re attempting to restart it”

5 minutes later

“Ladies and gentlemen we’ve lost power in a second engine and we’re working on restarting both”

Mrs PJM is contemplating writing out messages to loved ones whilst simultaneously blocking the circulation in my arm. I’m starting to get a bit twitchy whilst trying not to show it

A very short time later everything’s back on line and on we went.

Then there was the horrible on a Jetstar flight to DPS after a hook turn on the WA coast

“One of our passengers has unfortunately died and we are diverting to Darwin as a result”

 

[Denali]

I actually clicked by accident on this thread, and must admit to quite a few chuckles ...
so from me, are the following:

1. Ansett - "sorry, a mast was in our way" ... landing at Hamilton Island followed by a go around.
2. Hevilift - "sorry about that, a bloody big bird was in our way" ... taking off from Mt Hagen following a near lift off speed to dramatic halt and 2nd attempt at take off. (bird was later identified as a Cassowary )
3. Un-named bush pilot in Highlands PNG - "don't worry if the engines fail, it's only the abrupt stop at the end that hurts". Names kept secret for fear of bush-knife retaliation.
4. Same pilot - "upon landing, feel free to exit though any hole in the fuselage".

I'll have more, but I'm tired just now!

Lady Elliott Island, "Have to wait for them to clear the cricket game from the field".

Waiting for flight at LEI and the barmaid stops serving to grab the paddles and go to the field to stop the frisbee game so the plane can land.

Air NZ A320 private charter ended up being a dry flight Dunedin to Auckland. "Sorry folks, we cant serve alcohol on this flight as someone didnt get the liquor license". And yes, they tried to get the OK to serve at midnight and delayed the flight until forced to depart.

 

[TomJones]

Virgin Blue CSM many years ago:

"Unfortunately, the radios in your armrests are out of order. If you find yourself needing music to listen to, our cabin crew would be delighted to sing for you".

 

[get me outta here]

Final destination? Like DOH or SIN?

"Welcome to Canberra. If you're returning home, welcome home. Otherwise, we wish you a safe onward flight to your final destination."

 

[Blackswan]

Any flight on a US carrier where they hock credit card applications over the P.A.

One particularly awful announcement in this regard ~18 months ago, flying AA LGA-ORD in F. Attendant spent at least five minutes going through ALL the details and putting the hard sell on, in order to get her sign up bonus.

 

[Deleted member 29185]

From many years ago, a DC3 across Bass Strait ... "we're expecting rough weather, please use the sick bags if needed. Any uneaten lunch packs, pass them forward for me to eat"!

Admittedly, not a commercial flight, The RAAF tends to be light on with pleasantries!

 

[RooFlyer]

"Welcome to Canberra. If you're returning home, welcome home. Otherwise, we wish you a safe onward flight to your final destination."

Sometimes get this coming into Hobart

Final destination? Like DOH or SIN?

Zero choices out of HBA.

 

[love_the_life]

Final destination? Like DOH or SIN?

We also have flights to Newcastle and Dubbo.

 

[clipped_wings]

NOT MY STORY, so don't shoot the messenger.

A (pilot) friend of mine who worked for Qantas recalled those heady days of totally inappropriate and sexist comments they used to make:

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to land. Please return your stewardess to the upright position..."

 

[Deleted member 29185]

NOT MY STORY, so don't shoot the messenger.

A (pilot) friend of mine who worked for Qantas recalled those heady days of totally inappropriate and sexist comments they used to make:

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to land. Please return your stewardess to the upright position..."

... and here was I, for all these years thinking no one noticed!