Worst cabin announcement

[Prof Henry]

On a December-1978 (now-defunct charter airline) flight from London-Luton (we were easily misled in those days) to Venice when all of the other flights to Europe were being cancelled, our pilot informed us somewhere over cloud- and snow-covered southern europe that "we will make one attempt to land at Marco Polo Airport and if that is NOT SUCCESSFUL, we will divert to Rimini." Nervous laughter from all the Anglophones on board, boos from the Italians!

From my window seat, I felt the wheels touch down at exactly the same moment as I could actually see the runway.

It still ranks as one of the 2 or 3 smoothest landings I've ever experienced. This time all of the pax joined the Italians in applauding the pilot!

 

[jb747]

It’s usually an air conditioning pack inoperative that’ll be a requirement to fly at 25,000ft or less. The operating pack will provide pressurisation and will have a reduced airflow hence the requirement to operate at a lower flight level.

It's also to do with the likelihood of a failure of the second operating pack. A failure at FL250, taking back to zero operating, is much less dramatic than the same thing at FL350.

“One of our passengers has unfortunately died and we are diverting to Darwin as a result”

Which would have to be followed by the passengers asking 'why?'. It's not as if they could bring the passenger back to life.

 

[p--and--t]

Which would have to be followed by the passengers asking 'why?'. It's not as if they could bring the passenger back to life.
[/QUOTE]

Perhaps because they'd rather unload the (presumably Aussie) corpse in Australia rather than proceed to Indonesia and then try and work out what to do with a passenger that can't go through immigration. & landing in foreign country with a body and dealing with local authorities et al.

 

[Happy Dude]

Which would have to be followed by the passengers asking 'why?'. It's not as if they could bring the passenger back to life.

Perhaps because they'd rather unload the (presumably Aussie) corpse in Australia rather than proceed to Indonesia and then try and work out what to do with a passenger that can't go through immigration. & landing in foreign country with a body and dealing with local authorities et al.
[/QUOTE]

Couldn't they stuff the corpse in the toilet and deal with it on return to Aus? I mean, if they turned the temperature down real low.

 

[jb747]

Perhaps because they'd rather unload the (presumably Aussie) corpse in Australia rather than proceed to Indonesia and then try and work out what to do with a passenger that can't go through immigration. & landing in foreign country with a body and dealing with local authorities et al.

That's not a reason for a diversion. The procedures are quite straightforward....it happens often enough.

 

[kelvedon]

My father tells a story of a flight he was on in West Africa in the late fifties. It was a 12 seater twin prop and shortly after take off the coughpit door opened and the co pilot asked the passengers “ does anyone have a screwdriver?”

 

[trooper]

Some years ago, along with some friends, we decided that a skydiving experience might be fun. After the morning's training, we all got our parachutes on and loaded into the plane - a small plane (like a Cessna) with no seats other than for the pilot so we were all crouched on the floor. As we taxied to the end of the runway, the pilot turned around and asked us all to move as far forward as possible "so that the plane can actually lift off".
The pilot was also sitting in his seat - wearing a parachute!

Weight and balance is SOO important in the small aircraft... As to the pilot wearing a parachute? Absolutely standard when flying jumpers. One famous incident (famous in the skydiving world anyway) was an accidental main parachute opening as a jumper was climbing out. Canopy went over the tail... jumper cut away and used his reserve... the other jumpers were gone PDQ. Leaving the pilot in an aircraft that couldn't be controlled. So the story goes the a/c ended up inverted in a flat spin... pilot unstrapped and exited by essentially running along the bottom of the wing.. (Cessna High wing a/c) Pulled the ripcord on his slimpack pilots type rig...and had about a 30 second canopy ride... so must have been under canopy at about 5 or 600 ft.... If true that's scary...given the incident reportedly started at 9 or 10 thousand ft...

 

[jb747]

I knew a Captain who used to regularly give PAs welcoming people on to a flight to a destination they weren't going to. He'd give the correct flight times and weather for that false destination....so you'd be going to Singapore, and be told about the snow in Tokyo. He said he was rarely queried about it....

 

[p--and--t]

I knew a Captain who used to regularly give PAs welcoming people on to a flight to a destination they weren't going to. He'd give the correct flight times and weather for that false destination....so you'd be going to Singapore, and be told about the snow in Tokyo. He said he was rarely queried about it....

Yeah, the old "I knew a captain" routine - @jb747 why did you do it haha

 

[jb747]

Yeah, the old "I knew a captain" routine - @jb747 why did you do it haha

I never had that much sense of humour. This particular bloke is quite famous from his era, with a number of wonderful pranks. Probably not goers these days, but they were wonderful 20-30 years ago.

 

[AviatorInsight]

I knew a Captain who used to regularly give PAs welcoming people on to a flight to a destination they weren't going to. He'd give the correct flight times and weather for that false destination....so you'd be going to Singapore, and be told about the snow in Tokyo. He said he was rarely queried about it....

The Saab that has "The City of Wagga Wagga" painted on the side used to get remarks from people asking if it was going to Lismore.

I was only ever game to change the destination on April fools day. No one mentioned a thing. One year I also told people that if they were to look out the right side of the aircraft they'll see me standing there on the wing waving...(in flight)...again..nothing.

So you could probably say whatever you wanted these days, less and less people are actually listening.

 

[kevrosmith]

I knew a Captain who used to regularly give PAs welcoming people on to a flight to a destination they weren't going to. He'd give the correct flight times and weather for that false destination....so you'd be going to Singapore, and be told about the snow in Tokyo. He said he was rarely queried about it....

Why would someone in a position of leadership, representing an organisation in a senior position intentionally lie to customers?

 

[Mattg]

Why would someone in a position of leadership, representing an organisation in a senior position intentionally lie to customers?

Presumably because he had a sense of humour?

(I get it... not everyone will find it funny.)

 

[33kft]

Why would someone in a position of leadership, representing an organisation in a senior position intentionally lie to customers?

Given it was mentioned in the second example that it was done on April Fools Day, I guess you could ask that question of all of the companies, media outlets and govt departments that join in on the bald faced lie caper on that day.