Worst cabin announcement

[Flying Fox]

Surely the worst announcement would be 'brace brace brace' or 'evacuate' ???

Thankfully I have never heard either one.

 

[Chief Wiggum]

And on the technical side, what would require a flight to stay at 25,000ft?

I once flew from Hobart to Melbourne at 15,000 feet due to ash from a volcano on South America. The airport had been closed for about 24hr but later on Sunday morning, they sent one plane up to do a test flight, then about an hour later, my VA flight was called for boarding. The Captain said we would be flying at max 15,000 feet to stay below the ash, and to expect some great views along the way.

 

[tomlee1986]

Surely the worst announcement would be 'brace brace brace' or 'evacuate' ???

Thankfully I have never heard either one.

I agree with you there 100% and also the captain saying preparing for emergency landing

 

[DJDBNE]

Early morning PX flight from Wewak to Port Moresby (F28 or F100), passengers all on board, refuelling completed. Captain exits coughpit and disembarks, returns to coughpit and repeats exit, return. Makes following announcement: the fuel tanker can't restart and won't move and I haven't got enough room to swing the aircraft around for take off. We can either wait for God knows how long for someone to move the tanker of, if you are willing, you could all disembark and push the aircraft back giving me enough room to swing around. And that's what happened!

 

[DJDBNE]

On CX descending at LHR, on final approach, when suddenly we are climbing on full power. Eventually, as we circled the captain announced that as we were about to touch down he saw another aircraft starting to take off on the same runway and decided that two aircraft on the same runway at the same time was not a good idea, especially when travelling in opposites directions!

 

[Deleted member 29185]

Early morning PX flight from Wewak to Port Moresby (F28 or F100), passengers all on board, refuelling completed. Captain exits coughpit and disembarks, returns to coughpit and repeats exit, return. Makes following announcement: the fuel tanker can't restart and won't move and I haven't got enough room to swing the aircraft around for take off. We can either wait for God knows how long for someone to move the tanker of, if your are willing, you could all disembark and push the aircraft back giving me enough room to swing around. And that's what happened!

Classic. I doubt too many people have been asked to push the plane!

 

[Kelstarama]

Flying from Mfuwe to Lusaka in Zambia, my flight was delayed. After finally boarding and while taxiing towards the runway, the pilot apologised for the delay and said "the aircraft is not coping well with the heat today"

 

[Atleastonce]

Great thread. Enjoying the comments.

 

[Mosman6012]

Hi everyone this is my first post on here. In the 1960's my father decided it would be a great idea to fly to Rottnest Island from Perth, Western Australia as my mother always suffered with terrible sea sickness even just looking at a boat. I can't remember where we flew from in Perth but the plane was tiny with room for 6 passengers. As we boarded the plane we all noticed an L plate (Learners plate) on the plane. Take off was fine, however, mid way we all heard "No, no, not that button you fool!" Needless to say we caught the ferry back after our holiday.

 

[p--and--t]

Several years ago flying MEL-PER on Ansett, after our 3rd attempt at landing at PER and very dramatic go around only what seemed to be a few feet from the ground with some passengers crying and hosties with white & terrified looking facial expressions, the pilot announced along the lines of "sorry for the go arounds but there is wind shear at the airport and our next attempt will be our last as we have insufficient fuel for another attempt and will have to land somewhere else". On the fourth attempt we did make a very turbulent landing. As we were taxi-ing to the terminal an extremely shaky voice from the purser made the standard announcement for that period of time "Welcome to WA, the state of excitement".

Also several years ago ADL-MGB we were on a very small commuter plane, something like <10 seats that obviously had a few locals on board that knew the pilot. After takeoff the pilot announced "for the locals who have been asking, yes this is the plane that got struck and damaged by lightning last week but the engineers have assured me it is safe to fly".

 

[Blinky]

About 10 years ago I was returning to Melbourne from Adelaide on VA when we started circling around Port Phillip Bay. Many many times. After a few “technical problems” announcements, the captain finally said “we have problems with our flaps, but we are going to land on the north-south runway (I think) and that should be long enough for a safe landing”,
.
“Should”??????

Anyway we hit the runway shallow and smoothly, and stopped at the very end of the runway, passing dozens of fire engines ready for action. I wasn’t as terrified as I thought I would be.

 

[Janflyer]

Some years ago, along with some friends, we decided that a skydiving experience might be fun. After the morning's training, we all got our parachutes on and loaded into the plane - a small plane (like a Cessna) with no seats other than for the pilot so we were all crouched on the floor. As we taxied to the end of the runway, the pilot turned around and asked us all to move as far forward as possible "so that the plane can actually lift off".
The pilot was also sitting in his seat - wearing a parachute!

 

[La Mouette]

My closest moment to becoming a post-humus AFF member was a problem with the landing gear, maybe a tyre puncture. The pilot kept us overly well-informed as we dumped fuel and air traffic control gave us first priority; we were then reminded of the evacuation procedures, and were met by fire engines. Thankfully we all left via the front door.

My most relieved moment in recent times was upon landing at LHR, when we were instructed to remain in our seats while the police came on board, with no explanation whatsoever. It took forever for them to arrive, all the while I'm thinking of every law I might have broken, was I really that horrible to the FAs, etc. Luckily it was someone else that time.

 

[Beano]

There's always:
"we will shortly be landing in Auckland" when the plane was flying to Wellington, followed shortly after by an apology and correct destination. There were also some startled cabin crew. Then again the same announced and this time we did land in Auckland. We had no clue until just before landing in Auckland. (pick any two cities of your choice).

 

[Beano]

We also have flights to Newcastle and Dubbo.

Same into Wellington. "those on international transit do not need to fill in arrival cards". There is no international transit at Wellington.

 

[jmillard]

"Take care when opening the overhead lockers, because as we all know, shift happens"

QF flight to Broome

 

[Rate]

On an international flight many years ago, an automated message came on saying to fasten seatbelts as we need to rapidly descend to a lower altitude (or words to that effect).
At least five (very nervous) minutes later, a somewhat casual announcement was made, "Sorry to alarm everyone, we accidentally pressed the wrong button".

 

[nickfromeastryde]

"Last drinks" especially when flying in F

 

[blackcat20]

"Last drinks" especially when flying in F

Or "we've run out of F champagne, can we get you something from J?"

 

[Warks]

This thread reminded me of this scene from Airplane 2 (Flying High in Australia)

ELAINE (to passengers) Please, ladies and gentlemen, please calm down. Listen to me!

They calm down.

ELAINE We've been thrown off course just a tad.

PASSENGER What's that mean?

ELAINE In space terms, about 70 million miles.

The Passengers appear interested and sensible, nod their heads.

ELAINE The bumps you feel are car-sized asteroids smashing into the hull.

The hood of a car smashes through the cabin wall. The Passengers still appear interested and sensible.

ELAINE Also, we're heading right for the sun and can't seem to change course.

Passengers still appear interested and sensible. They all put on sunglasses.

PASSENGER Are you telling us everything?

ELAINE Not exactly. We're also out of coffee.

The Passengers erupt in total panic.