A bit of humour

[Foreigner]

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[Foreigner]

Not-cheap beer

 

[jetlagger]

View attachment 10839




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Is that for real? :shock:

 

[anat0l]

Not-cheap beer

View attachment 10840

Aahhh... bad translation (and misconstrued). FWIW the Chinese is quite clear - buy 3 get 1 extra (or additionally) (i.e. in our lingo it's buy 3 get 1 free).

Several South East Asian countries also write "Buy 3 Take 1", with the same meaning.

Is that for real? :shock:

Eh, I've seen Engrish like that around Japan. Japanese may not be the worst in that regard; I reckon Chinese are worse at Engrish.

That said, this is probably some of the not so good Engrish in Japan I've seen.

In connection to these, observe: May I take your order? (it's from Google's cache because the original blog is currently down)

 

[simongr]

Holy Xmas - it's Batman, Batgirl, Robin & ...Batdog????

Lindsay Wilson - even boygr knows who Green Lantern is...

Not sure who the dog is - Krypto is white (and has a red cape). I am unaware of any superhero with a powder blue cape.

 

[Foreigner]

The simpleton’s car broke down and the garageman arrived
to take a look at it.
“Oh yeah, cough in the carburettor,” said the mechanic.
“Really, how often will I have to do that?” he replied.

 

[Bundy Bear]

[h=5]Apple Maps meanwhile is showing Obama has won British Columbia, Alberta and Quebec. Ontario and Manitoba firmly in the Romney column while Saskatchewan, Nova Scotia and New Brunswick too close to call.[/h]

 

[QF WP]

The best maps and results I found of the US Election was here

 

[Foreigner]

There was a captain sailing on the sea during a battle. His servant came up to him and the captain said, "bring me my red shirt".

So, the servant did as the captain said.

After that the servant came up to the captain and said, Why did you say bring me my red shirt"?

The captain said, "Well if i get shot they won't see the blood.

The next day the servant came up to the captain and said, "There are 50 ships on the horizon."

The captain said, "Bring me my brown pants."

 

[oz_mark]

The best maps and results I found of the US Election was here

There's probably a reason this is in the humour thread.....

 

[codash1099]

AAH, the Oirish!

A Jamaican has been shot in the head with a starting pistol; police say it's definitely race related.

Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.

I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency.

Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one but after looking through her knicker drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maids outfit, and a police woman's uniform, he finally decided if she can't hold down a job, she's not for him.

Paddy is doing some roofing work for Murphy He nears the top of the ladder and starts shaking and going dizzy. He calls down to Murphy and says, "I tink I will 'ave to go home, I've come all over giddy and feel sick." Murphy asks "Ave yer got vertigo?"Paddy replies "No I only live round the corner."

After 100 years lying on the sea bed, Irish divers were amazed to find that the Titanic's swimming pool was still full.

 

[codash1099]

There once was an proud Irishman named Pat, who went to heaven and saw
St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked, "Who are you?" Pat
replied, "My name is Pat, I'm an Irishman, born on St. Patrick's Day,
died on St. Patrick's Day, marching' in the St. Patrick's Day parade."
St. Peter said to Pat: "Yes, this is true! Here's a little green cloud
for you to drive around heaven in and here is a harp that, when you push
this button here, will play 'When Irish Eyes Are Smiling.' Enjoy it,
Pat. Have a good time in heaven."

Pat jumps on his little green cloud, punches the button, and heads out
with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. He's having a
wonderful time in heaven, driving his little green cloud around. But on
the third day, he's driving down Expressway H-1 with the harp playing
full blast when, all of a sudden, a Jewish man in a pink and white
two-tone cloud with tail fins roars past him. And in the back of this
cloud is an organ which is playing all sorts of celestial music. Pat
makes a U-turn right in the middle of the Heaven Expressway and charges
back to the Pearly Gates.

He says, "St. Peter, my name is Pat, I'm a proud Irishman. I was born on
St. Patrick's Day, died on St. Patrick's Day, marching' in the St.
Patrick's Day parade. I come up here to heaven and I get this tiny,
insignificant little green cloud and this little harp that plays only
one song, 'When Irish Eyes Are Smiling.' But, there's a Jew over there.
He's got a big, beautiful pink and white two-tone cloud and a huge organ
that plays all kinds of celestial music and I, Pat the Irishman, want to
know why!" St. Peter stands up from his desk. He leans over and motions
Pat the Irishman to come closer. Then he says: "Pat, shush! He's the
Boss's Son!"

 

[Major]

Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals.

One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.

“Yes” said the policeman. “The detectives want very badly to capture him.”

Larry asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?”

 

[Major]

The math teacher saw that Larry wasn't paying attention in class.

She called on him and said, “Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?”

Larry quickly replied, “NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!”

 

[Major]

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, “Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!”

After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, “Do you think you're stupid, Larry?”

“No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”

 

[Major]

Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.

“Why do you do that, mommy?” he asked. “To make myself beautiful,” said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.

“What's the matter”, asked Larry “Giving up?”

 

[straitman]

Last Saturday afternoon, in Canberra, an aide to Kevin Rudd visited the Bishop of the Catholic cathedral in Canberra. He told the Bishop that Kevin would be attending the next day's Mass, and he asked if the Bishop would kindly point him out to the congregation and say a few words that would include calling Kevin a saint.
The Bishop replied, "No. I don't really like the man, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain of his views."
Rudd's aide then said, "Look, I'll write a cheque here and now for a donation of $100,000 to your church if you'll just tell the congregation you see Kevin as a saint."

The Bishop thought about it and said, "Well, the church can use the Money, so I'll work your request into tomorrow's sermon."

As the aide promised, Kevin Rudd appeared for the Sunday worship and seated himself prominently at the forward left side of the center aisle. As promised, at the start of his sermon, the Bishop pointed out that Mr Rudd was present.

The Bishop went on to explain to the congregation, "While Mr Rudd's presence is probably an honour to some, the man is not numbered among my personal favourite personages. Some of his most egregious views are contrary to tenets of the Church, and he tends to flip-flop on many other issues. Kevin Rudd is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite, a thumb sucker, and a nit-wit. He is also a serial liar, a cheat, and a thief. I must say, Kevin Rudd is the worst example of a Christian I have ever personally witnessed. He married for money and is using his wealth to lie to the Australian people. He also has a reputation for shirking his representative obligations both inCanberra, in Queensland and overseas ... The man is simply not to be trusted."

The Bishop concluded,"However, when compared with Prime Minister Gillard, Kevin Rudd is a Saint."



​

 

[QF WP]

Photo of an eclipse:

 

[Foreigner]

[FONT=&quot]A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The undertaker told the husband, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150.”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The undertaker asked, “Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The man replied, “Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead.” Shaking his head, he continued, “I just can’t take that chance.”[/FONT]

 

[Foreigner]

[FONT=&quot]An attractive, well-dressed woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian rugs. She looks around and spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she farts loudly. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed. As she turns back, standing next to her is a salesman.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Good day, ma’am, how may we help you today?”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Very uncomfortably she asks, “Sir, how much does this rug cost?”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Ma’am,” he answers, “If you farted just touching it, you’re gonna cough when you hear the price!”[/FONT]