Why Dogs are Better Than Women
You never have to wait for a dog.
Dogs don't cry.
Dogs love it when your friends come over.
Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
Dogs think you sing great.
A dogs time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
Dogs don't expect you to call when you're running late.
The later you are the more excited dogs are to see you.
Dogs are excited by rough play.
Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
Dogs understand that farts are funny.
Dogs love red meat.
Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
Anyone can get a good looking dog.
If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
Dogs don't shop.
Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
A dog's parents never visit.
Dogs love long car trips.
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were meant to be hunted.
Dogs like beer.
Dogs don't hate their bodies.
No dog ever bought a Kenny G album.
No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.
Dogs never criticise.
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
Dogs never expect gifts.
Dogs don't worry about germs.
Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.
Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewellery.
Dogs never want foot rubs.
Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
Dogs can't talk.
Dogs aren't chatty.
Dogs seldom outlive you.
