A bit of humour

[Foreigner]

You may eat noodles if coffee makes you depresso:

http://www.phatphucnoodlebar.co.uk

 

[Cruiser Elite]

You may get a giggle out of this - What people say on dates.

 

[rogerkambah]

 

[RAM]

[FONT=&amp]Today's riddle for seniors...

Here is the situation:[/FONT][FONT=&amp]

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed.

On your right side is a sharp drop-off.

On your left side is an elephant travelling at the same speed as you.

Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it.

Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the kangaroo.[/FONT]


[FONT=&amp]What must you do to get out of this highly dangerous situation?


Scroll down
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[/FONT]

















[FONT=&amp]


[/FONT][FONT=&amp]Get off the merry-go-round and go home, you silly old bugger![/FONT]

 

[mrs.dr.ron]

I had to send that to all my friends !!!

 

[Cossie]

What happened?

 

[rogerkambah]

What happened?

Dunno quite. I've had this problem before with trying to paste a a copy of something that has come into my personal email account.

It shows as posting correctly, just after I have done it but sometime later disappears. Maybe it posts as a link rather than a gif or jpg that I thought I had posted.

 

[anat0l]

Dunno quite. I've had this problem before with trying to paste a a copy of something that has come into my personal email account.

It shows as posting correctly, just after I have done it but sometime later disappears. Maybe it posts as a link rather than a gif or jpg that I thought I had posted.

The reason why it doesn't work is because it posts as a link from your email. Many people get caught out with this problem.

It "works" for you because you are logged into your email account when you view the post, therefore the link "works". Had you been logged out of your email, it should stop working. If we logged into your email account then viewed the thread, provided the email still exists, we should be able to see the picture.

The only way to correctly bring the picture into AFF would be to download the picture from your email to a local file, then re-upload that picture to AFF via the attachment system. Alternatively, if you can find the picture on the public web, link that into the AFF post rather than the picture from your email.

 

[rogerkambah]

Tks anatol for demystifying the disappearing file. Will try to do that in the future.

 

[Major]

Murphy applied for a fork lift operator post at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin.

A Norwegian applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test and led to a quiet room with no interruptions by the Manager.

When the results were in, both men had scored 19 out of 20.

The manager went to Murphy and said, "Thank you for coming to the interview, but we've decided to give the Norwegian the job.

Murphy,... "And why would you be doing dat? We both got 19 questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish surely I should get the job.

Manager, "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you got wrong.

Murphy, "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than another?

Manager "Simple; on question number 7 the Norwegian wrote down,
'I don't know.

You put down, 'Neither do I. "

 

[coco50]

Unless you want a phuc short ?

But you never want to be on the wrong side of Phuc's cousin U

 

[Cossie]

Tks anatol for demystifying the disappearing file. Will try to do that in the future.

Sorry I had to 'unlike' it, felt a bit of a dork as it looked like I had 'liked' a blank post

 

[rogerkambah]

Sorry I had to 'unlike' it, felt a bit of a dork as it looked like I had 'liked' a blank post

I'm the dork that doesn't know how to post an attachment.

 

[Major]

Warning...There is some bad language

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zF_1hVYGaJw

 

[Freq Flier 2013]

Warning...There is some bad language

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zF_1hVYGaJw

Great!!

 

[amaroo]

Cheeky

 

[marki]

Warning...There is some bad language

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zF_1hVYGaJw

Fantastic video thanks Major

 

[codash1099]

A knockout blonde, waiting by the first tee at the Hollybrook Golf and Tennis Club for her lesson from the golf pro, watched a foursome of senior men tee off.

The first man hit it 230 yards, straight down the middle of the fairway.

"Nice shot," said the blonde.

"Not bad, considering my impediment," replied the golfer.

"What do you mean?"

"I have a glass eye."

"I don't believe you," said the blonde. "Show me."

He popped out his glass eye and showed it to her.

The second golfer hit it 240 yards, straight down the middle of the fairway.

"Good shot," said the blonde.

"Not bad, considering my impediment," replied the second golfer.

"You, too?" said the blonde. "What's wrong with you?"

"I have a prosthetic arm," said the golfer.

"I don't believe you," said the blonde. "Show me."

So he screwed off his arm and showed it to her.

The third golfer hit a 250-yard drive down the middle.

"Great shot," said the blonde.

"Not bad, considering my impediment."

"Another? What's your impediment?"

"Prosthetic leg," said the golfer.

"No way," said the blonde. "Show me."

So the golfer screwed off his leg and showed it to her.

The fourth golfer hit a beauty, 260 yards, straight as a string. "Now that's a shot," said the blonde. "I suppose you have an impediment, too?"

"Yep," said the golfer. "Artificial heart."

"What? I don't believe you! Show me."

"I can't show you here in the open," he said. "Let's go over there, behind the Pro Shop."

They did, but when they hadn't returned after fifteen minutes, his partners peered around behind the Pro Shop to see what was keeping him. And there he was -- screwing his heart out.

 

[Foreigner]

Not fully confident this is humour...




A jobless man applied for the job of "Sweeper" at Microsoft.

The HR manager interviewed him. Then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.

"You are appointed" he said. "Give me your email address and I'll send you the forms to fill in."

The man replied, "But I don't have a computer, neither an email."

"I'm sorry," said the HR manager...

"If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And he who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a Door to Door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times, and returned home with $60.

The man realised that he can survive this way, and started to go everyday earlier and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles. 5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US.

He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have life Insurance. He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.

When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email address. The man replied, "I don't have an email."

The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?!"

The man thought for a while and replied, "Yes, I'd be an 'sweeper' at Microsoft!"

Moral of the story:
1) Internet/email/bbm/whatsapp is not the solution to your life.
2) If you don't have facebook account, Internet/email/bbm/whatsapp , but work hard, you can be a millionaire.

 

[whatmeworry]

Not sure where to post this picture. This thread seemed most appropriate.