A bit of humour

[mrs.dr.ron]

Another ageist joke

 

[RAM]

I think it would be a very interesting night out - to have a discussion with a cartoonist about how their mind works...

 

[Moindardt]

Not sure it ends there..

Yes Minister and Yes Prime Minister should be compulsory viewing before you're allowed to vote.

 

[Foreigner]

,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

[JessicaTam]

I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. The mind boggles Foreigner.

 

[Foreigner]

I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. The mind boggles Foreigner.

Attempt laughing...this is a humour thread after all

 

[JessicaTam]

Attempt laughing...this is a humour thread after all

I know - but my first thought was that it was truly sad.

 

[anat0l]

I know - but my first thought was that it was truly sad.

Would it be funnier or sadder if the next frame was someone sawing off the chain lock to nick the thongs?

 

[RAM]

I know - but my first thought was that it was truly sad.

It could have been a cyclist who leaves the thongs to change into when they arrive back on the bike + bike shoes....

 

[JohnK]

I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. The mind boggles Foreigner.

Definitely cry. Sad to see....

 

[JohnM]

One of many cartoons about the British adorning a corridor of the Victoria Falls hotel today:

 

[mrs.dr.ron]

 

[mrs.dr.ron]

 

[love_the_life]

Your schoolboy joke mrs.dr.ron reminds me of one of my students many many years ago.

I was a new teacher at a Melbourne Catholic girls school and I explained to my home group (Yr 8) that as I was a Protestant I did not make the sign of the cross during our morning prayer. One student's parents told me that when they asked their daughter about her teacher etc she said that I was very nice but did not make the sign of the cross because I was a prostitute!

 

[Foreigner]

The kids filed into class Monday morning. They were all very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on salesmanship technique they used.

Little Sally led off, "I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30" she said proudly. "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good", said the teacher.

Little Debbie was next. "I sold magazines" she said. "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."

"Very good, Debbie", said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath.

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said.

"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"

"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes," echoed the teacher. "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town", said Little Johnny. "I set up a Dip & Chip stand and I gave everybody who walked by a free sample. They all said the same thing; 'Hey, this tastes like dog poop!' I would say, 'Yeah, It is dog poop. Wanna buy a toothbrush?' ...They all did!

"I used the Politician's salesmanship technique of giving you some cough, dressing it up to make it look good, telling you it's free and then making you pay to get the bad taste out of your mouth."

Little Johnny got five stars for his assignment.

 

[straitman]

A sweet old lady telephoned St. Joseph’s Hospital. She timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?”

The operator said, “I can, what’s the name and room number?”

The old lady in her weak voice said, “Norma Findlay, Room 302.”

The operator replied, “Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse.”

After a few minutes the operator returned to the phone and said, “Oh, I have good news, her nurse just told me that Norma is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged on Tuesday.”

The old lady said, “Thank you. That’s wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you!”

The operator replied, “You’re more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?”

The grandmother said, “No, I’m Norma Findlay in 302. No one tells me cough.”

 

[codash1099]

[FONT=&quot]Last week, I took my grandchildren to a restaurant. My 8-year-old[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]grandson asked if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads he said,
"God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food, & I would thank
you even more if Grandpa gets us ice cream for dessert. And liberty &
justice for all. Amen!"

Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a
woman remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't
even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why I never!"

Hearing this, my grandson burst into tears & asked me, "Did I do it
wrong Grandpa? Is God mad at me?"

After I assured him that he had done a terrific job & that God was
certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table.
He winked at my grandson & said, "I happen to know that God thought
that was a great prayer." "Really?" my grandson asked. "Cross my
heart," the man replied. Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added
(indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), "Too
bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is sometimes
good for the soul.”

Naturally, I bought my grandchildren ice cream at the end of the meal.
My grandson stared at his ice cream for a moment, & then he did
something I will remember the rest of my life.

He picked up his sundae &, without a word, walked over & placed it in
front of the woman. With a big smile he told her,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]"Here, this is for you, you grouchy old cough. Shove it up your cough!"

Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?[/FONT]

 

[Warks]

This is what happens to all the paper towels in aircraft toilets by the look of it:

Airplane Lavatory Self-Portraits

 

[JessicaTam]

This is what happens to all the paper towels in aircraft toilets by the look of it:

Airplane Lavatory Self-Portraits

It took a conscious effort to click on the link. I was a little bit nervous.

 

[Warks]

It took a conscious effort to click on the link. I was a little bit nervous.

I'd never post anything like that! Although links with titles like that bother me too!