A bit of humour

Major · Oct 14, 2016

A husband and wife, who work for the circus, go to an adoption agency.

Social workers there, raise doubts about the living conditions in a circus, but
the couple produce photos of their 50-foot luxury motor home, which is clean and
well-maintained and equipped with a beautiful nursery.

The social workers also raise concerns about the education a child would receive
while in the couple's care.
"We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach
the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin and computer
skills."

Then the social workers express concern about a child being raised in a circus
environment. "Our nanny is a certified expert in pediatric care, welfare and
diet."

The social workers are finally satisfied and ask, "What age child are you hoping
to adopt?"

"It doesn't really matter as long as the kid fits in the cannon."

Wingin..it · Oct 14, 2016

I have a self made joke ?IF it fails you may want to put me in the cannon???????????
2 Birds were having a chat while flying the flyway across the Pacific.
One bird says to the other ''guess that big metal bird will be making it's way over soon.''
Other bird says "sure would like to run into it one day ,'' other bird interrupts in a soaring fashion,"why is that my fine feathered friend? "
"I hear the cargo is packed like sardines "yum" (am already thinking of these tasty treats)about 200 or so in some economy cargo and it gets even better ;there are bigger fish in a F and business cargo.
Other bird replies "Well you never know it could be our lucky migratory day"I think we need more flying points and status to snag the big ones though!:mrgreen:

Boca68 · Oct 14, 2016

Wingin..it said:
I have a self made joke ?IF it fails you may want to put me in the cannon???????????
2 Birds were having a chat while flying the flyway across the Pacific.
One bird says to the other ''guess that big metal bird will be making it's way over soon.''
Other bird says "sure would like to run into it one day ,'' other bird interrupts in a soaring fashion,"why is that my fine feathered friend? "
"I hear the cargo is packed like sardines "yum" (am already thinking of these tasty treats)about 200 or so in some economy cargo and it gets even better ;there are bigger fish in a F and business cargo.
Other bird replies "Well you never know it could be our lucky migratory day"I think we need more flying points and status to snag the big ones though!:mrgreen:

Boom! Boom!

I see what you did there

Thinking, day job, hang on to it. (tight!)

mrs.dr.ron · Oct 15, 2016

An aussie take on the us election -

Clarke and Dawe - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)

Major · Oct 15, 2016

A drover from a huge cattle station in the outback appeared before St. Peter
at the Pearly Gates.

"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the drover offered.

"Once, on a trip to the back blocks of Broken Hill, I came across a gang of bikers who were threatening a young sheila.
I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed bikie and smacked him in his face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.

I yelled, "Now, back off!! Or I'll kick the s**t out of the lot of ya!"

St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?"

"A couple of minutes ago."

Bundy Bear · Oct 17, 2016

A few people might agree with me.

JessicaTam · Oct 17, 2016

On the radio this morning - It has been argued that you can't run through a camp-ground, you ran through - as it is past tents.

Foreigner · Oct 17, 2016

,,,,,,,,,,,,

Foreigner · Oct 17, 2016

............

Andyzx · Oct 17, 2016

Daniel, the duck on my flight, likes to look at the clouds.

From twitter.
he is an Indian Runner (an Indonesian breed), a certified emotional support duck, 4 years old, wears a Capt. America diaper

TheEmu · Oct 18, 2016