A bit of humour

[JohnM]

Name 3 magical creatures women are interested in?

Please tell...

 

[Quickstatus]

Magical Unicorn
Magical Prince

What’s the 3rd?

 

[drron]

Magical drron?

 

[Quickstatus]

Magical drron?

3) Men who listen

 

[drron]

So I was right!
Well some of the time.

 

[JohnK]

3) Men who listen

Men who understand women!

 

[QF WP]

No, that’s a figment of your imagination @JohnK

 

[JohnK]

No, that’s a figment of your imagination @JohnK

Yes. A magical creature if there ever was one.

 

[Limewood]

Well, I'm at the emergency room

. This day has kinda taken a turn for the worse. ...I got the chance to go horse riding, something I haven't done in 40 years. BIG mistake.

I got on the horse and started out slowly, but I got a bit coughy. I started going a little faster and before I knew it, we were going as fast as the horse could go, and when I tried to stop the bloody horse it wouldn't stop, he must have got spooked or something. He was out of control, so I decided I'll try to jump off the horse, and instead, I fell off, but as I was falling, my foot got caught in the stirrup and the horse was dragging me and he wouldn't stop. Every time I screamed at him to stop, the horse went faster. Thank goodness the manager at Kmart came out and unplugged the Bloody Thing. ...but he also had the nerve to take the rest of my change so I wouldn't attempt to ride again!.

 

[Denali]

 

[tgh]

#2 son had the unfortunate pleasure of doing exactly what you describe, fortunately just a bit of bark was lost.

 

[Deleted member]

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.

"Please allow me to help. I'm a physiotherapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him.

"Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes," the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the foetal position, still clasping his hands at his groin.

At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, "How does that feel?"

"Feels great," he replied; "but I still think my thumb's broken!"

 

[Hvr]

 

[Hvr]

 

[Hvr]

I had a dream last night that I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted.

 

[Hvr]

Descartes' final deathbed words: "I think not."

 

[Hvr]

Why can't the cantaloupe's run away and get married?



Because they can't elope.

 

[NM]

Why can't the cantaloupe's run away and get married?

Because they can't elope.

An alternate version from the Dad Joke collection is:

Why didn't the rock melons roll away to get married?

Because they're cantaloupes.

 

[drron]

.

They can barely touch the pedals, cut them some slack.

From Twitter.

 

[Boca68]

.

They can barely touch the pedals, cut them some slack.

From Twitter.

Yep! Red squirrels are the Volvo drivers of the forest. It's those dastardly Grey squirrels that are the hoons of animal kingdom. Road rats!