A bit of humour

[craven morehead]

 

[Flashback]

Getting in the Halloween spirit...........

I threw a boomerang at a ghost the other day.
I knew it would come back to haunt me.

 

[Flashback]

Did you hear about the man who got hit by the same bike every morning?
It was a vicious cycle.

 

[drron]

Studying humour according to HVR hey Flashback.

 

[codash1099]

Studying humour according to HVR hey Flashback.

Humour?

 

[JessicaTam]

Recruitment NZ style:

 

[get me outta here]

I like the outtakes too. Although I was concerned they were running fullbelt without looking where they were going.

Recruitment NZ style:

 

[mrs.dr.ron]

 

[JohnK]

Don't be too afraid @mrs.dr.ron. We were not spanked as kids and although some may not agree I think we turned out ok.

 

[Bundy Bear]

Getting into Halloween spirit

Funny as

 

[Hvr]

You're describing Donald Trump.

 

[Maca44]

this thread has so many pages since I started it, I hope this has not been seen.
Forensic cough Detective

 

[Flashback]

There's nothing funny about it

 

[Flashback]

A young doctor moved to a small community to replace one who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that he should accompany him on his rounds.
At the first house a woman complains, “I’ve been a little sick to my stomach.”
The doctor says, “You’ve probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Cut back on the amount and see if that works?”
As they left, the younger man said, “You didn’t even examine that woman, How did you know?”
“I dropped my stethoscope on the floor & when I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a dozen banana peels in the trash that was what probably was making her sick.”
The younger doctor said, “Very clever I’ll try that at the next house.”
At the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She said that she just didn’t have the energy she once did saying, “I’m feeling run down lately.”
“You’ve probably been doing too much for the church,” the younger doctor told her. “Perhaps you should cut back a bit & see if that helps.”
As they left, the older doctor said, “I know that woman well and she’s very active in the church, but how did you arrive at that?”
“I did what you did at the last house. I dropped my stethoscope and when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the Priest under the bed.”

 

[Flashback]

NICKNAMES
1. If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
2. If Mike, Brian and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
EATING OUT
1. When the bill arrives, Mike, Brian and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
2.When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
1. A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
2. A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
1. A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
2. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 40. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
1 A woman has the last word in any argument.
2. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
1. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
2. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
1. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
2. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
1. A woman will dress up right to go shopping, weed the front garden, visit the doctor, go to the gym
2. A man will dress up right only for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
1. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
2. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
1. Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
2. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

 

[mrs.dr.ron]

 

[Hvr]

In every marriage there comes a time when a man has to put his foot down.


For me, it was when my wife told me to stop imitating a flamingo.

 

[Cruiser Elite]

Nothing really needs to be said huh?

 

[JohnM]

It would have been even funnier if it showed him going into (or coming out of) the women's toilet in the background .

 

[codash1099]