A bit of humour

[cosi]

 

[cosi]

 

[get me outta here]

On their way to the church to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident. Being good Catholics the young couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: could they possibly get married in Heaven?


When St. Peter finally showed up, they asked him. St Peter said "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out" and he leaves them sitting at the Gate.


After three months, St Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes" he informs the couple" I can get you married in Heaven".


"Great!" said the couple "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"


"You must be bloody joking" says St. Peter, red-faced with frustration, slamming his clipboard on the ground.


"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.


"OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouted "It took me three months to find a priest up here... Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?”

 

[Hvr]

Every morning for the last six months I've loudly announced that I'm going for a jog, then I don't.



It's the longest running joke in our family.

 

[Hvr]

Did you know that Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities was originally serialised in two English newspapers? It was the Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times.

 

[Hvr]

A little something for Xmas.

 

[VPS]

Did you know that Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities was originally serialised in two English newspapers? It was the Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times.

Yep - we need a groan button

 

[Flashback]

Yep - we need a groan button

I was looking for the sad button

 

[straitman]

Shamelessly stolen from Bundy Bear.

Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight.
The operator asks "How many people are flying with you?"
Paddy replies "I don't know! It's your bloody plane!"

 

[Major]

I called an old University classmate and asked what he was doing.


He replied he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment."

I was impressed..


However, upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision.

 

[get me outta here]

You’d think that by now he’d learned to not need supervision. It’s not rocket surgery.

I called an old University classmate and asked what he was doing.


He replied he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment."

I was impressed..


However, upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision.

 

[Flashback]

Brexit.

 

[amaroo]

Posted this in the chit chat .... also deserves to be here

 

[JohnK]

You’d think that by now he’d learned to not need supervision. It’s not rocket surgery.

Or managed to get out of washing dishes by now? It's quite easy. Leave grease and muck after washing dishes and sooner or later that chore gets taken away.

 

[love_the_life]

Or managed to get out of washing dishes by now? It's quite easy. Leave grease and muck after washing dishes and sooner or later that chore gets taken away.

Well it depends. I worked with a lass who had a bit of a tussle with her husband about sharing the washing up. She won! She refused to touch the dishes for several weeks. She just ignored them and eventually he caved and kept his part of the bargain.

 

[JohnK]

Well it depends. I worked with a lass who had a bit of a tussle with her husband about sharing the washing up. She won! She refused to touch the dishes for several weeks. She just ignored them and eventually he caved and kept his part of the bargain.

True. We hardly ever use dishes. We have plastic bowls and unless badly stained I usually just rinse the bowl and it's clean.

If you want something done your way then please do it yourself including cooking, cleaning, washing and ironing. Also I have 2 very simple rules in life. Don't tell me what to do and don't stop me playing golf.

 

[love_the_life]

True. We hardly ever use dishes. We have plastic bowls and unless badly stained I usually just rinse the bowl and it's clean.

If you want something done your way then please do it yourself including cooking, cleaning, washing and ironing. Also I have 2 very simple rules in life. Don't tell me what to do and don't stop me playing golf.

You'd be no good in our house then. We use Stuart Crystal and fabric napkins every day and I don't think I actually own a plastic plate.

 

[straitman]

You'd be no good in our house then. We use Stuart Crystal and fabric napkins every day and I don't think I actually own a plastic plate.

The only plastic plates we have are in the BBQ basket.

I really cannot imagine using plastic plates on a daily basis.

 

[straitman]

With that it’s probably time to return to the Jokes!

 

[get me outta here]

I thought we were still on jokes.

Yes, agree back to the subject in hand.

With that it’s probably time to return to the Jokes!