A bit of humour

[drron]

 

[drron]

 

[drron]

 

[drron]

 

[drron]

And one for hvr

 

[drron]

Or

 

[Hvr]

Why wasn't the elephant injured when it jumped into a glass of lemonade?

Because it was a soft drink.

 

[love_the_life]

Have you been frequenting FaceBook drron?

 

[Buzzard]

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=654682231617827

 

[drron]

No all from the twittersphere.

 

[love_the_life]

No all from the twittersphere.

I see. They looked suspiciously like the ones I get on FB.

 

[Captain Halliday]

Napkins supplied by my dinner hosts tonight:



I was happy to comply.

 

[Major]

 

[ethernet]

Whats the difference between a 737 Max and an Italian Footballer?
They both take dives, but the Italian footballer lives on.

Whats the difference between a 737 Max and a bomb?
The 737 Max has FAA approval and a 40 second fuse. The bomb is unnecessary as MCAS is more reliable and has a red flashing light to indicate it is working as designed..

Coles Supermarket wants to be on all 737 Max infotainment systems. Coles' jingle is down down going down. Be a good match with Coles Funeral services.

What is the difference between proper aircraft certification and 737 Max Certification?
I don't know as the 54 minute video was clogging my inbox was directed to the spam folder for deletion.

Aircraft spares department: This can't be right, a replacement AOA sensor costs more than an entire engine. Salesperson: Nope thats right, you can land a 737 Max on one engine, but you can't land with a u/s sensor.

What is the difference between a lemon Car and a Lemon 737 Max?
In a lemon car, the red dash lights always comes on. On the 737 Max, its an optional extra.

Whats the difference between FAA certification and Boeing self certification processes? We don't know yet, but they could be the same.

Did you know someone proposed to correct the off forward balance issue, by moving all the heavy passengers to the rear seats, and also move first class down the aisle, and back up when at altitude.

 

[Bundy Bear]

I thought this was sweet

 

[Major]

The Kiwi Rural Recession has been explained in simple terms by an old-time farmer:



It all started back in 1966 when we changed from pounds to dollars that doubled me bloody overdraft.
Then they brought in kilograms instead of pounds me bloody wool clip dropped by half.
After that, they changed rain to millimeters and we haven't had an inch of rain since.
If that wasn't enough, they brought in Celsius, and it never got over 40 degrees, no wonder me bloody wheat won't grow.
Then they changed acres to hectares, and I ended up with only half the land I had.
By this time I'd had enough and decided to sell out.
I put the property in the agent's hand and then they changed miles to kilometers.
Now I'm too far out of town for anybody to buy the bloody place

 

[daft009]

 

[cosi]

Paraprosdokians

Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous.

Sir Winston Churchill loved them.

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ...but it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

7. Knowledge, is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of an emergency, notify..." I answered "a doctor."

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

17 I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find someone older than me.

 

[JessicaTam]

Dibs on number 5 thanks @cosi.

 

[Hvr]

Irony, the opposite of wrinkly.