A bit of humour

[coriander]

Turn back time one hour this weekend.

Cher with your friends.

 

[Captain Halliday]

Happy Easter:

TikTok

TikTok is the destination for short-form mobile videos. Our mission is to capture and present the world's creativity, knowledge, and precious life moments, directly from the mobile phone. TikTok enables everyone to be a creator, and encourages users to share their passion and creative expression...

www.tiktok.com

 

[Cruiser Elite]

 

[Cruiser Elite]

 

[Cruiser Elite]

 

[drron]

.

Meanwhile in South Australia.
.

 

[I love to travel]

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'



... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."



And that's when the fight started...



________________________________



I took my wife to a restaurant.



The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.



"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."



And that's when the fight started.....



_____________________________



My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school

reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his

drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.



I asked her, "Do you know him?"

"Yes", she sighed,

"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking

right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he

hasn't been sober since."



"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on

celebrating that long?"



And then the fight started...



________________________________



When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.

But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,

making beer.. Always something more important to me.



Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing

scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into

the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again

I handed her a toothbrush.



I said, "When you finish cutting the

grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."



The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.



_____________________________



My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, "What's on TV?"

I said, "Dust."



And then the fight started...



________________________________



Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the

boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential

downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather

would be bad all day.



I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back;

now with a different anticipation,

and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."



My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"



And that's how the fight started...



_______________________________



My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."



I bought her a bathroom scale.



And then the fight started......



______________________________



After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply

for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me



for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets



and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that



I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.



The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.



She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.



When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.



She said, 'You should have dropped

your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'



And then the fight started...



________________________________



My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.



She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,

"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you

to pay me a compliment.'



I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."



And then the fight started........



________________________________



I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!



The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!

He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'

So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'



That's how the fight started.



________________________________



One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot

as a Christmas gift...



The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied,

"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"



And that's how the fight started.

 

[Bundy Bear]

Corona Lisa

 

[Cruiser Elite]

 

[Cruiser Elite]

 

[cosi]

 

[Hvr]

 

[Black Duck]

One for Denali,

"The Hormel company produced their first batch of canned meat, called SPAM in 1937. They announced today that due to hoarding and customer demand they will be making a second batch."

 

[p--and--t]

 

[Cruiser Elite]

 

[TheRealTMA]

General Coronavirus chit chat thread - non-travel specific

Did anyone see any reports of the level of infections outside of Wuhan, in other China centres like Beijing, Shanghai etc? It seems odd that there was not much reported on this. Perhaps it is just a part of the CCP general secrecy. About two weeks ago they 'reported' infections in Shanghai...

www.australianfrequentflyer.com.au

Link doesn't work .: (

Go to Post #1442

 

[TheRealTMA]

 

[Cruiser Elite]

Post automatically merged: Apr 6, 2020

 

[futaris]

Morrison Acts Swiftly To Save Ansett From Total Collapse

News you can believe in

theshovel.com.au

 

[Cruiser Elite]