A bit of humour

[codash1099]

If you can't beat them..........

I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both lefts which, on the one hand, is great, but on the other, it’s just not right.

 

[NM]

If you can't beat them..........

I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both lefts which, on the one hand, is great, but on the other, it’s just not right.

I left that one alone

But I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous

 

[JessicaTam]

I left that one alone

But I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous

If i've told you once, i've told you a million times - don't exaggerate!

 

[NM]

One day while he was building a barn, a cowboy lost his favourite book. A week later, one of his horses came up to him holding the book in its mouth. The cowboy was stunned. He took the book from the horse and said, "It's a miracle!"

"Not exactly," said the horse. "Your name is written inside the cover."

 

[JessicaTam]

Plenty of exercise helps you look better naked.
So does alcohol.

(Thanks Nancy)

 

[NM]

My wife asked me "is it just me or is the cat getting fat?"

Apparently "no, it's just you" is not the correct answer.

 

[straitman]

My wife asked me "is it just me or is the cat getting fat?"

Apparently "no, it's just you" is not the correct answer.

... and you are still alive?

Congratulations

 

[straitman]

Did you hear about the cartoonist found dead at his home? Details are sketchy.

 

[straitman]

I’ve been thinking about taking up meditation.

I figure it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.

 

[NM]

Q: What sound does a bouncing plane make?

A: Boeing, Boeing, Boeing ...

 

[straitman]

 

[NM]

 

[codash1099]

To the thief who stole my glasses:

I will find you.....

I have contacts.

 

[NM]

To the thief who stole my glasses:

I will find you.....

I have contacts.

Ahh, I see, I see, I see, said the blind carpenter as he picked up his hammer and saw.

 

[straitman]

 

[straitman]

 

[VPS]

From one of the UK papers

 

[codash1099]

If anyone knows how to fix broken hinges, my door is always open.

 

[NM]

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Avon Calling .... you doorbell is broken.

 

[straitman]

What's Forrest Gump's computer password?

1forrest1