A bit of humour

[Bundy Bear]

[FONT=&quot]Ear Infection[/FONT]


[FONT=&quot]This is so true! [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]They always ask at the doctor's reception desk why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others. Sometimes it is embarrassing.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you, in a room full of other patients. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]'There's something wrong with my ****', he replied...[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that. '[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full[/FONT][FONT=&quot]of people. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.'[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. [/FONT] [FONT=&quot]


[/FONT][FONT=&quot]'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?'[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]'I can't piss out of it,' he replied.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]The waiting room erupted in laughter.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]


[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Mess with seniors and you're going to lose!
[/FONT]

 

[simongr]

Not to dissect the joke, but to understand the robots are bad you’d need to know who they are, and if you know who they then you know they can fly up stairs

Only in the modern age Dr Who... There was a timelord or two before David Tennant...

 

[anat0l]

A caricature from the Telegraph in the UK about their favourite airline, BA:

 

[straitman]

A caricature from the Telegraph in the UK about their favourite airline, BA:

Excellent :!:

 

[straitman]

Everyone knows the Daleks can fly don’t they? :shock:

Not to dissect the joke, but to understand the robots are bad you’d need to know who they are, and if you know who they then you know they can fly up stairs

It's a joke Sam :!:

 

[samh004]

It's a joke Sam :!:

Only a joke if it’s funny, but as was explained by simongr, if it was an old comic then it would have made more sense as they previously couldn’t fly, I don’t see a year so don’t know.

 

[straitman]

Only a joke if it’s funny, but as was explained by simongr, if it was an old comic then it would have made more sense as they previously couldn’t fly, I don’t see a year so don’t know.

It was funny when it first came out. That was possibly before you were born though Sam.

 

[QF WP]

Yes, grandpa :shock:

 

[oz_mark]

Only in the modern age Dr Who... There was a timelord or two before David Tennant...

Explains why I never knew they could fly. I really haven't watched much of the newer work.

 

[straitman]

Yes, grandpa :shock:

Careful or your lounge privileges next Sunday may be provoked :!:

 

[serfty]

Careful or your lounge privileges next Sunday may be provoked :!:

PROVOKED:?::?:

I wonder how one "Provokes" lounge privileges?

 

[anat0l]

PROVOKED:?::?:

I wonder how one "Provokes" lounge privileges?

I believe the BA board term (or more general slang term) is called "blagging". :mrgreen:

 

[QF WP]

I'll just have to get an ODU to join you...

 

[serfty]

I'll just have to get an ODU to join you...

... or straitman / I could be overridden by TWMBO .... :shock:

 

[anat0l]

An Analogy to Understand Computers

A colour (slightly NSFW) version can be found here.

 

[straitman]

Careful or your lounge privileges next Sunday may be provoked :!:

It does not matter anymore.

I have been told that LW must be allowed in so no more discussion :!:

 

[codash1099]

OK, enough of the banter - back to the humour


There once was a man who owned a sausage factory, and he was showing his arrogant preppy son around his factory.

Try as he might to impress his snobbish son, his son would just sneer. They approached the heart of the factory, where the father thought, "This should impress him!"

He showed his son a machine and said "Son, this is the heart of the factory. With this machine here we can put in a pig, and out come sausages.

The impudent son, unimpressed, said "Yes, but do you have a machine where you can put in a sausage and out comes a pig?"

The father, furious, thought and said, "Yes son, we call it your mother."

 

[codash1099]

The banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year-old rancher, in town. Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumour had it that he was marrying a "mail order" bride. Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumour was true. Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be. Tom proudly said, "She'll be twenty-one in November."

Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year-old man. Wanting his old friend's remaining years to be happy, the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course. Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.

About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again. "How's the new wife?" asked the banker. Tom proudly said, "Oh, she's pregnant."

The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, "And how's the hired hand?" Without hesitating, Tom said, "She's pregnant too."

Don't ever underestimate us old geezers.

 

[straitman]

This is serious!

Press Release:Union Negotiations

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda management have so far failed to produce an agreement.

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% next January from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this by management is a kick in the teeth."

Mr. Amir accepted the limited availability of virgins but pointed out that the cutbacks were expected to be borne entirely by the workforce and not by management... "Last Christmas Abu Hamza alone was awarded an annual bonus of 250,000 virgins," complains Amir. "And you can be sure they'll all be pretty ones too. How can Al Qaeda afford that for members of the management but not 72 for the people who do the real work?"

Speaking from the shed in the West Midlands in which he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "We sympathize with our workers' concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day jihad, in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up." He defended management bonuses by claiming these were necessary to attract good, fanatical clerics. "How am I supposed to attract the best people if I can't compete with the private sector?" asked Mr. Bin-Laden.

Talks broke down this morning after management's last-ditch proposal of a virgin-sharing scheme was rejected outright after a failure to agree on orifice allocation quotas. One virgin, who refused to be named, was quoted as saying "I'll be buggered if I'm agreeing to anything like that........it's too much to swallow".

Unless some sort of agreement is reached over the weekend, suicide bombers will down explosives at midday on Monday. Most branches are supporting the strike. Only the North London branch, which has a different union, is likely to continue working. However, some members of that branch will only be using waist-down explosives in order to express solidarity with their striking brethren.

Spokespersons in the North East of England, Swindon, North Kent and the entire Australian continent stated that this would not affect their operations as "There are no virgins in their areas anyway".

 

[QF WP]

straitman, you owe me a new laptop...I just laughed so hard that I spilt beer all over mine at the SYD QP and I'm trying to drain it out by holding it upside down. I'm getting some strange looks :shock: