A bit of humour

[Hvr]

 

[Hvr]

I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it. It's true, I saw it with my own eyes.

Post automatically merged: Aug 24, 2021

 

[Hvr]

I've got one of those French Bulldogs, I'm always having to let him out into the garden for a oui.

My wife and I had a huge row yesterday. We love our new canoe.


A weasel walks into a bar. The barman is surprised, he has never served a weasel before, but he politely asks what he wants.

"Pop," goes the weasel.

 

[Hvr]

My work here is done. I am the Groan Ranger! Hi Ho Silver! Away!

 

[Maca44]

 

[Matt_01]

 

[coriander]

A man stops into a biker bar for a drink...

As he is sitting there staring at his drink a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly and the man burst into tears.

"This is the worst day of my life!" he says.
"I'm a complete failure.
"I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me.
"When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have insurance.
"I left my wallet in the uber I took home.
"I found my wife in bed with another man and my dog bit me"

"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in with a poison and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing!"
.
.
.
"But enough about me, how's your day going?"

 

[Ade]

A man stops into a biker bar for a drink...

As he is sitting there staring at his drink a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly and the man burst into tears.

"This is the worst day of my life!" he says.
"I'm a complete failure.
"I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me.
"When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have insurance.
"I left my wallet in the uber I took home.
"I found my wife in bed with another man and my dog bit me"

"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in with a poison and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing!"
.
.
.
"But enough about me, how's your day going?"

I had seen this in a Tamil movie. It was shot in an open wheat field where a guy who just found out that his girlfriend is forced into marrying someone else. He decides to end his life by mixing poison & alcohol and keeps staring at it, when the comedian walks-in and drinks the whole glass in one gulp

 

[daft009]

I had seen this in a Tamil movie. It was shot in an open wheat field where a guy who just found out that his girlfriend is forced into marrying someone else. He decides to end his life by mixing poison & alcohol and keeps staring at it, when the comedian walks-in and drinks the whole glass in one gulp

was it the same movie as the banana fight? (skip to 36 sec onwards)

 

[Maca44]

First day as an assassin

 

[TheRealTMA]

 

[Major]

 

[Doug_Westcott]

View attachment 256461

Accurate? Just because the slices have been cut doesn’t mean they have been eaten

 

[AIRwin]

Accurate? Just because the slices have been cut doesn’t mean they have been eaten

Yes you can't have your pie and eat it too...

 

[straitman]

Accurate? Just because the slices have been cut doesn’t mean they have been eaten

If the pies is any good it would have been eaten.

 

[mrs.dr.ron]

Pie is old-fashioned - it should have been a tart

 

[Buzzard]

Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

 

[Major]

 

[TheRealTMA]

In The Age, 26 August 2021.

 

[TheRealTMA]

"After yesterday’s teasing there would be ‘a treat’ for jabbed up NSW residents, premier Gladys Berijiklian revealed five people will be allowed to congregate in an outdoor setting.

That is unless NSW residents decide to turn down the new five in a park rule in favour of whatever is in ‘The Mystery Box."

Gladys Says NSW Residents Can Choose Either 5 In A Park Or Whatever Is In the Mystery Box

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT After yesterday’s teasing there would be ‘a treat’ for jabbed up NSW residents, premier Gladys Berijiklian revealed five people will be allowed to congregate in an outdoor setting. Although the state of New South Florida just recorded over 1000 new local cases...

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