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I think SA is a lovely place. Great wines. Great seafood. A bit dry I know. But a nice city in Adelaide.
A bit of humour
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Bundy Bear
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Maybe the first part isn't that humorous, but some of the points at the end are interesting.
The True Meaning of Stress
A young lady confidently walked around the room while leading and explaining stress management to an audience. With a raised glass of water, and everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, 'half empty or half full?'.... She fooled them all ... "How heavy is this glass of water?", she inquired with a smile.
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll
have to call an ambulance. In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She continued, "and that's the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't
be able to carry on."
"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden - holding stress longer and better each time practiced.
So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night ... pick them up tomorrow.
Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment. Relax, pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it and the now 'supposed' stress that you've conquered!"
1 Accept the fact that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue!
2 Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
3 Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
4 Drive carefully... It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.
5 If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
6 If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.:idea:
7 It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
8 Never buy a car you can't push..
9 Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on..
10 Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
11 Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
12 The second mouse gets the cheese.
13 When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
14 Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
15 You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
16 Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.
17 We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
18 A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
The True Meaning of Stress
A young lady confidently walked around the room while leading and explaining stress management to an audience. With a raised glass of water, and everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, 'half empty or half full?'.... She fooled them all ... "How heavy is this glass of water?", she inquired with a smile.
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll
have to call an ambulance. In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She continued, "and that's the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't
be able to carry on."
"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden - holding stress longer and better each time practiced.
So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night ... pick them up tomorrow.
Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment. Relax, pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it and the now 'supposed' stress that you've conquered!"
1 Accept the fact that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue!
2 Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
3 Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
4 Drive carefully... It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.
5 If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
6 If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.:idea:
7 It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
8 Never buy a car you can't push..
9 Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on..
10 Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
11 Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
12 The second mouse gets the cheese.
13 When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
14 Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
15 You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
16 Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.
17 We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
18 A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Foreigner
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A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father.
He asked if they were interested. Both said they were very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.
But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.
The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor then checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.
At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well.
Since the pain transfer was obviously helping the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain and the husband had experienced none. She and her husband were ecstatic.
When they got home they found the mailman dead on the porch.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father.
He asked if they were interested. Both said they were very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.
But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.
The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor then checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.
At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well.
Since the pain transfer was obviously helping the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain and the husband had experienced none. She and her husband were ecstatic.
When they got home they found the mailman dead on the porch.
Foreigner
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A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.
She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much like my late son."
He answered, "That's okay."
"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out 'Good bye, Mom' as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy."
She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, "Goodbye, Mom."
The little old lady waved and smiled back at him..
Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his groceries.
"That comes to $121.85," said the clerk..
"What? How come so much? I only bought 5 items."
The clerk replied, "Yes you did, but your Mother just said you'd be paying for her things, too."
Don't trust Little Old Ladies!!!
She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much like my late son."
He answered, "That's okay."
"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out 'Good bye, Mom' as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy."
She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, "Goodbye, Mom."
The little old lady waved and smiled back at him..
Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his groceries.
"That comes to $121.85," said the clerk..
"What? How come so much? I only bought 5 items."
The clerk replied, "Yes you did, but your Mother just said you'd be paying for her things, too."
Don't trust Little Old Ladies!!!
Foreigner
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A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmac_, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said,
"I'd like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription.
"I'd like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription.
Foreigner
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A lady, with her little boy of 10 years, is eating in a restaurant.
The kid accidentally swallows a coin and chokes.
The mother tried hitting his back, slapping on the neck, shaking him hard without any success to make him spit the coin.
Now the boy begins to show signs of choking and turning blue. The desperate mother starts screaming for help.
A man gets up from a nearby table, and with astonishing tranquility, without saying a word, lowers the boy's pants, squeezes and violently pulls down the boy's testicl_s!
Naturally, the boy recoiling with incredible pain, spits out the coin. The gentleman turns around and with the same astonishing ease & tranquility returns to his table without a word.
Soon the mother calms down & approaches the gentleman to thank him for saving her boy's life.
She asked : "Sir, are you a doctor?"
He replies: " No, ma'am, I am an assessor with the Tax Department. We are highly trained to squeeze the balls of everyone to make them cough up the last dime."
The kid accidentally swallows a coin and chokes.
The mother tried hitting his back, slapping on the neck, shaking him hard without any success to make him spit the coin.
Now the boy begins to show signs of choking and turning blue. The desperate mother starts screaming for help.
A man gets up from a nearby table, and with astonishing tranquility, without saying a word, lowers the boy's pants, squeezes and violently pulls down the boy's testicl_s!
Naturally, the boy recoiling with incredible pain, spits out the coin. The gentleman turns around and with the same astonishing ease & tranquility returns to his table without a word.
Soon the mother calms down & approaches the gentleman to thank him for saving her boy's life.
She asked : "Sir, are you a doctor?"
He replies: " No, ma'am, I am an assessor with the Tax Department. We are highly trained to squeeze the balls of everyone to make them cough up the last dime."
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PREGNANT AT 61
A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of the younger doctors. After about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway back to where the young doctor was writing on his clipboard.
"What's the matter with you?" the older doctor demanded. "Mrs. Terry is 61 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"
The younger doctor continued writing and without looking up said,
"Does she still have the hiccups?"
A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of the younger doctors. After about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway back to where the young doctor was writing on his clipboard.
"What's the matter with you?" the older doctor demanded. "Mrs. Terry is 61 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"
The younger doctor continued writing and without looking up said,
"Does she still have the hiccups?"
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Medical Q&A ...
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?
Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!
Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"
AND.....
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians...
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?
Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!
Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"
AND.....
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians...
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
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*Two Woodpeckers*
So, this Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck.
The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Mexican woodpecker was amazed.
The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely 'impeccable' (a term frequently used by woodpeckers ). The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge. The two of them flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called 'impeccable' tree almost without breaking a sweat...
Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country?After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion: Apparently, Tiger Woods and Shane Warne were right, when they said, your pecker gets harder when you're away from home.
So, this Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck.
The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Mexican woodpecker was amazed.
The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely 'impeccable' (a term frequently used by woodpeckers ). The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge. The two of them flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called 'impeccable' tree almost without breaking a sweat...
Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country?After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion: Apparently, Tiger Woods and Shane Warne were right, when they said, your pecker gets harder when you're away from home.
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Love it 
EXCLUSIVE OFFER - Offer expires: 20 Jan 2025
- Earn up to 200,000 bonus Velocity Points*
- Enjoy unlimited complimentary access to Priority Pass lounges worldwide
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- Earn up to 200,000 bonus Velocity Points*
- Enjoy unlimited complimentary access to Priority Pass lounges worldwide
- Earn up to 3 Citi reward Points per dollar uncapped
*Terms And Conditions Apply
Foreigner
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A policeman pulled over a car, walked up to the driver's window, and asked the man if he knew why he was pulled over.
"No," the man replied.
"You failed to stop at the stop sign," the cop explained.
"But I did slow down!" the guy argued.
The cop shook his head. "You are required to stop. That's why they're called stop signs."
The man started to get belligerent. "Stop, slow down -- what's the difference?"
The cop pulled out his baton. "I can show you. I'm going to start hitting you with my baton. You tell me if you want me to stop or slow down."
"No," the man replied.
"You failed to stop at the stop sign," the cop explained.
"But I did slow down!" the guy argued.
The cop shook his head. "You are required to stop. That's why they're called stop signs."
The man started to get belligerent. "Stop, slow down -- what's the difference?"
The cop pulled out his baton. "I can show you. I'm going to start hitting you with my baton. You tell me if you want me to stop or slow down."
Foreigner
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A woman gets onto a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says, "There's no call for that. You go right up there and tell him off.
Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says, "There's no call for that. You go right up there and tell him off.
Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
Last edited by a moderator:
Foreigner
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An English, Irish and Scottish man were arguing on the hospital ward who was the most careless.
The English guy said, "I'm the most careless. This morning I ramped a pavement and went head on into a wall, totally writing my car off, and now I have to wear this neck brace."
"Wow, that is careless." said the Scotsman, "Not as careless as me though. This morning I drove straight through a red light and into the side of a van. My car is a write off and I've fractured my shoulder."
"That is careless." said the Irishman, "Not as careless as me though. This morning I took a corner too fast, spiraled out of control, went straight into a lamppost and broke both of my legs."
"That is careless." said the Englishman, "But what happened to your car?"
"What car?" Replied the Irish man, "I was walking."
The English guy said, "I'm the most careless. This morning I ramped a pavement and went head on into a wall, totally writing my car off, and now I have to wear this neck brace."
"Wow, that is careless." said the Scotsman, "Not as careless as me though. This morning I drove straight through a red light and into the side of a van. My car is a write off and I've fractured my shoulder."
"That is careless." said the Irishman, "Not as careless as me though. This morning I took a corner too fast, spiraled out of control, went straight into a lamppost and broke both of my legs."
"That is careless." said the Englishman, "But what happened to your car?"
"What car?" Replied the Irish man, "I was walking."
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Gotta love those Germans!!
I don't care what kind of beer it is, it ain't gonna taste the same served this way!!
A new meaning for beer off the wood ... Or getting pissed:
I don't care what kind of beer it is, it ain't gonna taste the same served this way!!
A new meaning for beer off the wood ... Or getting pissed:
Foreigner
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Good one...where's the dispensing arm? and who cleans the faucet?
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One sunny day in December, 2013, an old man approached the Lodge from Parliament house where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the Guard standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with Prime Minister Gillard."
The Guard looked at the man and said, "Sir, Julia Gillard is no longer Prime Minister and no longer resides here."
The old man said, "Okay," and walked away. The following day the same man approached the Parliament House and said to the same Guard, "I would like to go in and meet with Prime Minister Gillard."
The Guard again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Julia Gillard is no longer Prime Minister and no longer resides here."
The man thanked him and again just walked away. The third day the same man approached the Parliament House and spoke to the very same Guard, saying, "I would like to go in and meet with Prime Minister Gillard. "
The Guard, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Julia Gillard. I've told you already that Julia Gillard is no longer the Prime Minister and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?"
The old man looked at the Guard and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it."
The Guard looked at the man and said, "Sir, Julia Gillard is no longer Prime Minister and no longer resides here."
The old man said, "Okay," and walked away. The following day the same man approached the Parliament House and said to the same Guard, "I would like to go in and meet with Prime Minister Gillard."
The Guard again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Julia Gillard is no longer Prime Minister and no longer resides here."
The man thanked him and again just walked away. The third day the same man approached the Parliament House and spoke to the very same Guard, saying, "I would like to go in and meet with Prime Minister Gillard. "
The Guard, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Julia Gillard. I've told you already that Julia Gillard is no longer the Prime Minister and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?"
The old man looked at the Guard and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it."
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Perhaps less humerous and more cold hard truth:
"The problems we face today are there because the people who work for a living are outnumbered by those who vote for a living"
This was written by a 21 yr old female who gets it. It's her future she’s worried about and this is how she feels about the social welfare that she’s being forced to live in! These solutions are just common sense in her opinion.
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[TD="width: 574, bgcolor: transparent"]Nov 18, 2011
Put me in charge . . .
Put me in charge of food stamps. I'd get rid of cash for Mars bars or Coke, just money for 50kg bags of rice and beans, blocks of cheese and all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want steak and frozen pizza, then get a job.
Put me in charge of Medicare. The first thing I'd do is to get women Norplant birth control implants or tubal ligations. Then, we'll test recipients for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine and document all tattoos and piercings. If you want to reproduce or use drugs, alcohol, smoke or get tats and piercings, then get a job.
Put me in charge of government housing. Ever live in a military barracks?
You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your "home" will be subject to inspections anytime and possessions will be inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then get a job and your own place.
In addition, you will either present a cheque stub from a job each week or you will report to a "government" job. It may be cleaning the roadways of trash, painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you. We will sell your 22 inch rims and low profile tyres and your blasting stereo and speakers and put that money toward the “common good..
Before you write that I've violated someone's rights, realize that all of the above is voluntary. If you want our money, accept our rules.. Before you say that this would be "demeaning" and ruin their "self esteem," consider that it wasn't that long ago that taking someone else's money for doing absolutely nothing was demeaning and lowered self esteem.
If we are expected to pay for other people's mistakes we should at least attempt to make them learn from their bad choices. The current system rewards them for continuing to make bad choices.
AND While you are on Gov’t subsistence, you no longer can VOTE! Yes that is correct. For you to vote would be a conflict of interest. You will voluntarily remove yourself from voting while you are receiving a Gov’t welfare cheque. If you want to vote, then get a job.
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"The problems we face today are there because the people who work for a living are outnumbered by those who vote for a living"
This was written by a 21 yr old female who gets it. It's her future she’s worried about and this is how she feels about the social welfare that she’s being forced to live in! These solutions are just common sense in her opinion.
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[TD="width: 574, bgcolor: transparent"]Nov 18, 2011
Put me in charge . . .
Put me in charge of food stamps. I'd get rid of cash for Mars bars or Coke, just money for 50kg bags of rice and beans, blocks of cheese and all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want steak and frozen pizza, then get a job.
Put me in charge of Medicare. The first thing I'd do is to get women Norplant birth control implants or tubal ligations. Then, we'll test recipients for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine and document all tattoos and piercings. If you want to reproduce or use drugs, alcohol, smoke or get tats and piercings, then get a job.
Put me in charge of government housing. Ever live in a military barracks?
You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your "home" will be subject to inspections anytime and possessions will be inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then get a job and your own place.
In addition, you will either present a cheque stub from a job each week or you will report to a "government" job. It may be cleaning the roadways of trash, painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you. We will sell your 22 inch rims and low profile tyres and your blasting stereo and speakers and put that money toward the “common good..
Before you write that I've violated someone's rights, realize that all of the above is voluntary. If you want our money, accept our rules.. Before you say that this would be "demeaning" and ruin their "self esteem," consider that it wasn't that long ago that taking someone else's money for doing absolutely nothing was demeaning and lowered self esteem.
If we are expected to pay for other people's mistakes we should at least attempt to make them learn from their bad choices. The current system rewards them for continuing to make bad choices.
AND While you are on Gov’t subsistence, you no longer can VOTE! Yes that is correct. For you to vote would be a conflict of interest. You will voluntarily remove yourself from voting while you are receiving a Gov’t welfare cheque. If you want to vote, then get a job.
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alieninperth
Active Member
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2010
- Posts
- 755
awesome, no need to worry about the grey vote then .
It about time those layabouts started taking on some of the heavy lifting again. I don't get me started on the stay at home mums and the long term sick. Clearly they are taking advantage and need to be taught a lesson.
Interestingly this has been floating around for a while, mainly in the US. I quite like the response though. Caution there are bad words and a definate left leaning sentiment, so if you are a Liberal (so not really liberal) don't click. Put Me in Charge | Persephone Magazine
. It about time those layabouts started taking on some of the heavy lifting again. I don't get me started on the stay at home mums and the long term sick. Clearly they are taking advantage and need to be taught a lesson.
Interestingly this has been floating around for a while, mainly in the US. I quite like the response though. Caution there are bad words and a definate left leaning sentiment, so if you are a Liberal (so not really liberal) don't click. Put Me in Charge | Persephone Magazine
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