I think you are entitled to feel a bit down in the mouth @p--and--t , and I don't think you should call it selfish. Just because other people may have it worse, that does not mean that losing your reasonable (and modest) expectations of a nice gathering of family and friends for a Big Birthday does make you feel a bit low.
I have a big birthday coming up very soon too, and I feel exactly the same way.
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My niece missed her 21st this year. She's going to celebrate her 22nd next year instead. I'm betting next year there'll be a lot of 19th's, 22nd's and x1st's ...