The totally off-topic thread

[TheEmu]

He might slice through a few I dare say especially if he gets his hook in.

He's gone to bed - I think we'll shaft him before he even joins the club.
A fairway for him to catch up now so best if we just play through - he'll be green with envy though.

 

[JohnK]

What have I started?

 

[jukebox333]

What have I started?

Well I know there's at least one golf joke with a punchline I can't repeat here....

 

[JessicaTam]

I wood think that once Hvr gets a round to joining the club he will be without par and will have it in the bag.

 

[Hvr]

I guess I have to strike while the iron is hot but I really don't know how to approach this subject and am afraid I'll choke. Indeed, it could even be said my reputation for puns is an albatross around my neck. However, I'll try and hit the sweet spot.

There will be some below par comments I can't lie about that. But hopefully I won't be wedged into a tight spot. I'll try and remember the local rules as I aim for the hole. Although I am afraid some people might think I have a bit too much lip. But that's a hazard us punsters face.

I'll keep a grip and try not to be too gross and I'll take any gimme I can lay my hands on.

Who knows? I might even get rid of the bogey as I travel the fairway on the way to the beach.

Now it's time to carry the cup to the caddy for a bite or two.

In the meantime I'll try for extra points to go on a long flight and hopefully not be handicapped too much by my cute dimples.

 

[Mal]

Aah the joys of manufactured spending. I know someone who bought £1000 of gift cards (twice) and was given £1 discount off fuel (up to 100l). Gift cards funnily enough have a cashout route. Fun times!

 

[TheEmu]

I guess I have to strike while the iron is hot but I really don't know how to approach this subject and am afraid I'll choke. Indeed, it could even be said my reputation for puns is an albatross around my neck. However, I'll try and hit the sweet spot.There will be some below par comments I can't lie about that. But hopefully I won't be wedged into a tight spot. I'll try and remember the local rules as I aim for the hole. Although I am afraid some people might think I have a bit too much lip. But that's a hazard us punsters face.I'll keep a grip and try not to be too gross and I'll take any gimme I can lay my hands on.Who knows? I might even get rid of the bogey as I travel the fairway on the way to the beach.Now it's time to carry the cup to the caddy for a bite or two.In the meantime I'll try for extra points to go on a long flight and hopefully not be handicapped too much by my cute dimples.

Nice to see you chip in. Not keeping a card but rather than bunker down for another crack at the pun-Masters I'll putt it out there and say Hvr takes the match. I think I'll buggy off now...

 

[TomVexille]

Nice to see you chip in. Not keeping a card but rather than bunker down for another crack at the pun-Masters I'll putt it out there and say Hvr takes the match. I think I'll buggy off now...

Agreed, Hvr aced it.

 

[markis10]

Scored a free ham at coles today, priced at 7 a kg but sticker said 5kg at $8, when it scanned it came up as $7 a kilo but its weight shot up to 5.6kg. Tricky buggers.

 

[RB]

Scored a free ham at coles today, priced at 7 a kg but sticker said 5kg at $8, when it scanned it came up as $7 a kilo but its weight shot up to 5.6kg. Tricky buggers.

Now you are going to have people taking their own scales into Coles!

 

[markis10]

Now you are going to have people taking their own scales into Coles!

The ham did have its weight on, it was the register that inflated it to bring the price up to the $8 a kg figure!

 

[docjames]

My local supermarket has been selling blueberries in a packet marked 150g.

Weight on the in-store scale (including packaging): 140g.

 

[JohnK]

Reporting to a boss since yesterday.

Power goes to some people's heads. I may have to ask to go back to the old team....

 

[Pushka]

I use the self checkout a lot. The local supermarket was caught out when the expected weight in the system didn't match the weight of the product I'd bought and wouldn't let me proceed.

 

[Flashback]

My local supermarket has been selling blueberries in a packet marked 150g.

Weight on the in-store scale (including packaging): 140g.

Conversely I've had the opposite happen, where when I get home and measure out & weigh ingredients for the recipe I end up having got more than I paid for

 

[TomVexille]

Now you are going to have people taking their own scales into Coles!

Just don't tell Today Tonight. They would grab this and run with it.

 

[Hvr]

Always good to see frequent flying status getting a run in popular media. Whilst English it does ring true.

 

[Bundy Bear]

Hey I am switched on to the new fangled stuff. I have CDs.

I hope you have your digital TV.

I read that Sydney switched off the analogue signal today, not sure if anyone saw this youtube link. ATN7 Sydney Analog Signs Off for the Final Time - YouTube
See the last 1 minute.

Next week 10 December Melbourne turns off the analogue signal.

 

[JohnK]

I hope you have your digital TV.

There is one here in the apartment in Brisbane. I have not switched it on once since I moved here in September.

I read that Sydney switched off the analogue signal today, not sure if anyone saw this youtube link.

Hmmm. My TV in Sydney is not digital.

 

[Hvr]

<snip>


Hmmm. My TV in Sydney is not digital.

Well it's now non-functioning unless you've got a set top box installed.

The next hard rubbish collection there will have thousands of analogue televisions and someone will walk around and take all of the copper wire out of the back of them.