The totally off-topic thread

[blackcat20]

One thing doesn't sit right in my mind and it would be eating away at my sanity. I am not going to pay for her to have weekends away with this month's toy boy. Not this lifetime. Or the next.

And then there are fathers who refuse to pay because they are too busy holidaying with their new squeeze. Along with keeping the house and everything in it. It goes both ways.

 

[RAM]

And then there are fathers who refuse to pay because they are too busy holidaying with their new squeeze. Along with keeping the house and everything in it. It goes both ways.

Poor behaviour is truly equal opportunity.

 

[Pushka]

I stand by what I stated, the first part my saying that I don't understand depression and trying to offer a brief explanation of why I don't. In the second part of that statement I allude to persons who can not feed their family or pay their bills or have somewhere to live. This is what I mean plus more, and worse, when I say spend a week with me.......

And certainly my last line is correct, there is no cure which I note there is agreeance with.

Yes Pushka you are correct in what you have written but then I never said it was a mood thing that could be shaken off.
Perhaps my post has been misinterpreted.

I guess maybe my interpretation came from the wordings that you described above - ie that people who have reasons "to be depressed" (eg lack of money etc etc) aren't depressed, yet those who "seem to have it all" are depressed, and that maybe if the second group had to experience what the first group was experiencing then maybe they might be able to somehow "rethink" their depression and decide not to be depressed after all.

It just doesnt work like that. Maybe I have overinterpreted your comment too.

 

[OATEK]

And then there are fathers who refuse to pay because they are too busy holidaying with their new squeeze. Along with keeping the house and everything in it. It goes both ways.

The one abiding rule in these cases seems to be that either side is more than capable and generally quite likely to, use child support as yet another mechanism for punishing the other. Lifting child support out of what is often a very toxic environment seems to have defeated most of the experts over the years, and I doubt that meaningful change is just around the corner. But Blackcat20 and others are right when they point to children being the ones to really suffer more so than the adults involved.

 

[JohnK]

And then there are fathers who refuse to pay because they are too busy holidaying with their new squeeze. Along with keeping the house and everything in it. It goes both ways.

I agree with you. Children are a huge responsibility. Sadly though humans are the wrong species to be trusted with offspring.

And I am sorry but I don't quite see some things the same as others.

 

[Bindibuys]

I agree with you. Children are a huge responsibility. Sadly though humans are the wrong species to be trusted with offspring.

And I am sorry but I don't quite see some things the same as others.

Oh JohnK, you SO remind me of a dear friend that passed away last year.
Do you look anything like Henry VIII ?

 

[Flashback]

I've seen an interesting case where a very nice guy was taken to the cleaners by his (now) ex-wife, she was an alcoholic who kept messing up and putting the children at risk .. yet she ended up with the house, the money, the kids .. make sense of that Anyway, something to ponder on - I'm happy to leave this discussion where it is now, I think we're all going round in circles here!

I'm no expert, not even a rank amateur in this area, but is there no way to place said monies into say a trust that is only released contingent on conditions?

Imagine the governance that would be required around that :shock:

 

[RAM]

I've seen an interesting case where a very nice guy was taken to the cleaners by his (now) ex-wife, she was an alcoholic who kept messing up and putting the children at risk .. yet she ended up with the house, the money, the kids .. make sense of that Anyway, something to ponder on - I'm happy to leave this discussion where it is now, I think we're all going round in circles here!



Imagine the governance that would be required around that :shock:

even worse - imagine the snouts-in-trough fees for that governance - trustees, auditors, external auditors

 

[Cruiser Elite]

London cabs come to Melbourne - about time too - No Cookies | Herald Sun

 

[JohnM]

London cabs come to Melbourne - about time too - No Cookies | Herald Sun

They've been in Perth for a while. Not sure how many but I see them commonly, so I figure there's a reasonable number (although I do live fairly close to the centre of Perth).

 

[TomVexille]

London cabs come to Melbourne - about time too - No Cookies | Herald Sun

I like the fact they can seat 5.

 

[Buzzard]

We also need a decent replacement for the big 3 when they leave Oz. How much luggage do the London cabs take? The Holden and Ford are both lacking in this regard.

 

[Pushka]

It's the huge LPG tanks that are the issue with luggage.

 

[jetlagger]

London cabs come to Melbourne - about time too - No Cookies | Herald Sun

Great plan for the upgrades.. Just need some decent drivers to match.
Most of the drivers & taxis currently in Melbourne are a disgrace & some of the vehicles stink.

 

[jukebox333]

Seriously?

There is something seriously wrong with a system that allows this type of rorting.

I feel sorry for people in this situation. It takes a special person to be able to cope.

If it was me I'd stop working and do everything in my power to ensure she didn't benefit out of my misery. But then I'm not a nice person.

One last thought for you John. I can stomach the child support, as the oldest of my kids are old enough to understand it, and call her out if she ever says "we don't have the money"...

The thing that will drive me to a lawyer is this: My parents loaned me $100,000 to build a 2nd storey extension to our house. Even signed up a document nominating the peppercorn interest to be paid. Otherwise, we would have had to borrow an additional $100,000 from the bank.

Now we are separated, she believes she is entitled to 65% of that loan (i.e. it is not treated as a loan in our asset calcs, but a gift to me). And I have bene advised that per Australian Family Law, she is right. So she's helping herself to what was an advance on my inheritance, while her father sits on over $1M in Super, half of whatever is left when he dies will go to her (the other half to her brother).

It makes my blood boil that something done by my parents with good intention to make both our lives easier in marriage, can be abused in such a way - and that the woman I was married to for 17 years thinks that it is perfectly reasonable to do so.

And remember, it's not like I was the one that went off and had an affair and she's "getting revenge"... she was the adulterer.

Diabolical.

 

[Pushka]

Surely a loan is regarded as a liability not an asset when you are paying interest?

 

[whatmeworry]

I know of one Guy, who fully supported his Daughter with minimal intervention by lawyers but then his ex who had remarried, went to court to make him pay more when his Daughter went to Uni (After she turned 18). Come on!!! She could have done the civil thing and asked him but went to the courts!

 

[Pushka]

.... pay more when his Daughter went to Uni (After she turned 18). Come on!!! She could have done the civil thing and asked him but went to the courts!

Maybe she wanted an objective opinion about how much that money would be rather than her own.

And many parents pay for the HECS fee even though kids are 18+ so this isn't unreasonable.

 

[blackcat20]

I know of one Guy, who fully supported his Daughter with minimal intervention by lawyers but then his ex who had remarried, went to court to make him pay more when his Daughter went to Uni (After she turned 18). Come on!!! She could have done the civil thing and asked him but went to the courts!

Maybe she wanted an objective opinion about how much that money would be rather than her own.

And many parents pay for the HECS fee even though kids are 18+ so this isn't unreasonable.

We asked my dad to continue to help me when I went to uni (I wasn't even 18). He said no, so mum took him to court and won. The only stipulation being that the money came directly to me so I could use it to pay my uni expenses.

 

[Steelo]

The problem you really face is that you have few options in a system which is often not fair - but is made worse by the ridiculous charges by Lawyers. I have seen more people ruined by the legal fees than by the child support. I have seen people slugged several thousand dollars for one letter. Financial agreements on separation or divorce should be straight forward - assets and liabilities - then a 50-50 split. But you will find that Lawyers will charge a fortune to haggle backward and forward - as that is how the earn their fee. If you have evidence of the loan - she has no rights to it - but be careful because she will darg it out for no reason other than to create pain for you and financial burden of a lawyer. This is not how the Family Law Act was meant to work.

One last thought for you John. I can stomach the child support, as the oldest of my kids are old enough to understand it, and call her out if she ever says "we don't have the money"...

The thing that will drive me to a lawyer is this: My parents loaned me $100,000 to build a 2nd storey extension to our house. Even signed up a document nominating the peppercorn interest to be paid. Otherwise, we would have had to borrow an additional $100,000 from the bank.

Now we are separated, she believes she is entitled to 65% of that loan (i.e. it is not treated as a loan in our asset calcs, but a gift to me). And I have bene advised that per Australian Family Law, she is right. So she's helping herself to what was an advance on my inheritance, while her father sits on over $1M in Super, half of whatever is left when he dies will go to her (the other half to her brother).

It makes my blood boil that something done by my parents with good intention to make both our lives easier in marriage, can be abused in such a way - and that the woman I was married to for 17 years thinks that it is perfectly reasonable to do so.

And remember, it's not like I was the one that went off and had an affair and she's "getting revenge"... she was the adulterer.

Diabolical.