A bit of humour

[JohnK]

Husband's Diary:

A two-foot putt .. who the hell misses a two-foot putt?

Me! More than once. Still haunts me now....

 

[Cruiser Elite]

A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.

'I don't want to know,' the child said, bursting into tears. 'Promise me you won't tell me.'

Confused, the father asked what was wrong.

The boy sobbed, 'When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech.

At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech.

When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech.

If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really root, I'll have nothing left to live for.'

 

[Cruiser Elite]

We are looking to try to sell some product to Costco so yesterday took a drive out to Ringwood to check some things. On the way out I asked Cruiserette 'What would you like for dinner tonight'?

Her answer was 'I am not really sure' - to which I replied' Why don't we grab a Greek salad like we bought at Costco last visit (really tasty and so cheap) and I'll grab some eye fillet later and cook it on the barbie - so easy' - 'Great idea she said'!

So I am wandering around Costco looking at this - looking at that - Cruiserette off checking whatever she wanted to - finally found her again as I was leaving liquor section.

I asked 'Did you get the Greek salad'? 'Oh no not yet but I found the meat I want - I want to try some axe meat'.

'You want to try what'? - 'I want to try some axe meat'? - 'WTF are you talking about woman'? - 'Come I will show you'.

So I follow her to the meat section and she points at a couple of Freddy Flinstone cuts in one cabinet - 'There - there' she says whilst pointing.

'Oh - you want to try a tomahawk steak darling - a tomahawk steak' - OMG - what a lunatic!

and

 

[Hvr]

We are looking to try to sell some product to Costco so yesterday took a drive out to Ringwood to check some things. On the way out I asked Cruiserette 'What would you like for dinner tonight'?

Her answer was 'I am not really sure' - to which I replied' Why don't we grab a Greek salad like we bought at Costco last visit (really tasty and so cheap) and I'll grab some eye fillet later and cook it on the barbie - so easy' - 'Great idea she said'!

So I am wandering around Costco looking at this - looking at that - Cruiserette off checking whatever she wanted to - finally found her again as I was leaving liquor section.

I asked 'Did you get the Greek salad'? 'Oh no not yet but I found the meat I want - I want to try some axe meat'.

'You want to try what'? - 'I want to try some axe meat'? - 'WTF are you talking about woman'? - 'Come I will show you'.

So I follow her to the meat section and she points at a couple of Freddy Flinstone cuts in one cabinet - 'There - there' she says whilst pointing.

'Oh - you want to try a tomahawk steak darling - a tomahawk steak' - OMG - what a lunatic!

View attachment 45790 and View attachment 45791

Don't be surprised if she does a hatchet job on you one day.

 

[amaroo]

Park Hyatt Tokyo style ... bloody beautiful!

 

[get me outta here]

Eating an axe, I mean a tomahawk with a spoon, that's some buttery tender lump of meat.

Park Hyatt Tokyo style ... bloody beautiful!

View attachment 45792

 

[straitman]

What else is there to say :?:

 

[straitman]

An Airbus A3.

 

[straitman]

That's what we call a real selfie :!:

 

[TomVexille]

QFs new flagship?

 

[Captain Halliday]

View attachment 45803
That's what we call a real selfie :!:

The aircraft being named "Perspective" is a nice touch.

 

[kelvedon]

Three engineers get into a car to go to the pub. The car won't start.

The first one, an Electrical Engineers says, "it's the battery, I'll change it and it'll start then",... it still won't start

"Nah" says the Mechanical Engineer "It's the Starter Motor, I'll fit a new one and it'll start".... Still no noise from the engine when they turn the key.

In desperation the turn to the Software Engineer, "I know" he says " Lets all get out of the car, shut the doors, get back in, and then it will start."

 

[TheEmu]

QFs new flagship?

That's the Corporate Fleet for QF bigwigs.

 

[TheEmu]

Three engineers get into a car to go to the pub. The car won't start.

The first one, an Electrical Engineers says, "it's the battery, I'll change it and it'll start then",... it still won't start

"Nah" says the Mechanical Engineer "It's the Starter Motor, I'll fit a new one and it'll start".... Still no noise from the engine when they turn the key.

In desperation the turn to the Software Engineer, "I know" he says " Lets all get out of the car, shut the doors, get back in, and then it will start."

I think I owned that car at some stage...

 

[Major]

The British Penny - European Union Directive No. 456179

In order to bring about further integration with the single European
Currency, the Euro, all citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain
And Northern Ireland must be made aware that the phrase "Spending a
Penny" is not to be used after 31 December 2014.

From this date onwards, the correct term will be: "Euronating".

It is hoped that this will be a great relief to everyone.

 

[QF WP]

After a couple of seconds to process, they got a laugh from me

 

[JessicaTam]

Very good!

 

[Major]

Since we are on JEEP jokes


One day a 12-year old boy was walking down the street when a car
pulled up beside him and the window was wound down.

"I'll give you a bag of lollies if you get in the car," said the male driver.

"No way, get stuffed", replied the boy.

How about a bag of lollies and $10?" asked the driver?

"No way", replied the irritated youngster.

"What about a bag of lollies and $50, eh"? quizzed the driver, still
rolling slowly to keep up with the walking boy.

"No, I'm not getting in the car!" answered the boy

"OK, I know what you want - I'll give you $100 and a bag of lollies" the
driver offered.

"NO," screamed the boy.

What will it take to get you into the car"? asked the driver sighing.

The boy replied: "Listen Dad, you bought a Jeep - you live with it!"

 

[TheEmu]

Q: What's the difference between a woman's argument and a sharp knife?
A: A sharp knife usually has a point.

 

[Foreigner]

............