A bit of humour

[Skyring]

Re: One for the math/science minds

have you ever been guilty of looking at others
your own age and thinking, surely i can't look that old?
well......you'll love this one!
...

Love it!

I've lifted this for my own site - DudJokes.com - and written a blog post about the process: Copy and Paste – Dud Jokes

Yet another way in which this community has enriched my life!

 

[Major]

Re: One for the math/science minds

One by one, all the senior members of the company's Board
of Directors were called into the chairman's office until only Ted, the junior member, was left sitting outside.

Finally it was his turn to be summoned. He entered the
office to find the chairman and the other ten directors seated around a table.
He was invited to join them, which he did.

As soon as he sat down, the chairman turned to Ted,
looked him squarely in the eye, and with a stern voice, asked, "Have you ever had sex with Mrs Foyt, my secretary?
"Oh, no, sir, positively not!" Ted replied.


"Are you absolutely sure?" asked the chairman

"Honest, I've never been close enough to even touch her!"

"You'd swear to that?"

"Yes, I swear I've never had sex with Mrs Foyt, anytime,
anywhere," insisted Ted.

Satisfied the chairman said . "Good.

Then you fire her."

 

[Skyring]

Last time I went through the screening checkpoint I heard a voice say, "Where do you reckon you're going dressed like that you bogan galah?"

I looked around quite concerned until the security guard told me the metal detector was out of order.

 

[Skyring]

A brush with the law

[FONT=&amp]A delivery truck from the wig factory was stolen, chased by the cops, rolled while trying to take a corner and spilled its load across the intersection.

[/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]The police are still combing the area.[/FONT]

 

[Hvr]

Re: A brush with the law

[FONT=&amp]A delivery truck from the wig factory was stolen, chased by the cops, rolled while trying to take a corner and spilled its load across the intersection.

[/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]The police are still combing the area.[/FONT]

I wonder if it was his first brush with the law?

 

[Major]

Re: A brush with the law

[FONT=&amp]A delivery truck from the wig factory was stolen, chased by the cops, rolled while trying to take a corner and spilled its load across the intersection.

[/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]The police are still combing the area.[/FONT]

That must have been a hair raising experience

 

[drron]

Re: A brush with the law

The driver avoided disaster by a whisker.

 

[RAM]

Re: A brush with the law

the driver avoided disaster by a whisker.

groan!!!

...

 

[TheEmu]

Re: A brush with the law

I wonder if it was his first brush with the law?

The driver avoided disaster by a whisker.

Must've been a close shave.

 

[JessicaTam]

Re: A brush with the law

Oh dear, the competition for best joke is getting rather cutthroat.

 

[serfty]

Re: A brush with the law

Oh dear, the competition for best joke is getting rather cutthroat.

The voting margin is on a Razor's edge ...

 

[Cruiser Elite]

Re: One for the math/science minds

The Ette headed for a Chrissy drink with one of her cobbers this arvo and her friend gave her these serviettes as a small gift:

 

[TheEmu]

Re: A brush with the law

Oh dear, the competition for best joke is getting rather cutthroat.

The voting margin is on a Razor's edge ...

Haven't heard anything worth getting into a lather over so far.

 

[gaz0303]

Re: A brush with the law

[FONT=&amp]A delivery truck from the wig factory was stolen, chased by the cops, rolled while trying to take a corner and spilled its load across the intersection.

[/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]The police are still combing the area.[/FONT]

Some bystanders are now scalping goods recovered from the site.

 

[codash1099]

Re: A brush with the law

Some bystanders are now scalping goods recovered from the site.

This one is a cut above the others.

 

[TheEmu]

Re: A brush with the law

[FONT=&amp]A delivery truck from the wig factory was stolen, chased by the cops, rolled while trying to take a corner and spilled its load across the intersection.

[/FONT][FONT=&amp]The police are still combing the area.[/FONT]

Great news - the thief has been caught! He was hiding nearby but gave his position away when he coiffed.

 

[Captain Halliday]

Re: A brush with the law

I'm headed to Bali next month. JQ have sent me a helpful email today reminding me of my travel details, offering me hotel and activity options and a weather prediction:

 

[Captain Halliday]

Re: A brush with the law

I was at Parliament House in Darwin last week. After my meeting wanted to return to the ground floor which is conveniently located on the, um, second floor.

 

[JessicaTam]

I'm headed to Bali next month. JQ have sent me a helpful email today reminding me of my travel details, offering me hotel and activity options and a weather prediction:
View attachment 86181

:shock:

Better pack a warm jacket then.

 

[Captain Halliday]

:shock:

Better pack a warm jacket then.

And where in Darwin do you suggest I buy a warm jacket in December?!?