A bit of humour

[RAM]

And where in Darwin do you suggest I buy a warm jacket in December?!?

Anywhere you can....

 

[docjames]

Re: A brush with the law

I'm headed to Bali next month. JQ have sent me a helpful email today reminding me of my travel details, offering me hotel and activity options and a weather prediction:
View attachment 86181

Make sure you pack your winter clothes.

 

[NM]

Re: A brush with the law

This year, new year's resolution was to lose 10kg. I am now pleased to report my progress and note that I only have 15kg to go!

 

[NM]

Yesterday I burned 2000 calories ... I should have known not to sit watching the cricket with the brownies in the oven

 

[coyote25]

Some Christmas wishes

 

[coyote25]

Damn it have to buy myself Christmas presents again

 

[anat0l]

Get ready for some PUNishment...

I have a fear of speed bumps. I'm slowly getting over it.

I wouldn't stand near those trees... they look rather shady to me.

Did you hear about the first restaurant on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere.

You know what's odd? Numbers that aren't divisible by 2.



An Englishman, Frenchman, Italian and German are all standing watching a street performer do some juggling. The juggler notices that the men have a rather poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"

"Yes."
"Oui."
"Si."
"Ja."


I always try to schedule a dental appointment at 2.30. The receptionists don't seem to find it as funny as I do.

 

[love_the_life]

Re: Get ready for some PUNishment...

I have a fear of speed bumps. I'm slowly getting over it.

I wouldn't stand near those trees... they look rather shady to me.

Did you hear about the first restaurant on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere.

You know what's odd? Numbers that aren't divisible by 2.



An Englishman, Frenchman, Italian and German are all standing watching a street performer do some juggling. The juggler notices that the men have a rather poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"

"Yes."
"Oui."
"Si."
"Ja."


I always try to schedule a dental appointment at 2.30. The receptionists don't seem to find it as funny as I do.

Boom boom!

 

[JessicaTam]

Re: Get ready for some PUNishment...

What would have happened if it had been three Wise Women instead of three Wise Men?

They would have asked directions,
arrived on time,
helped deliver the baby,
cleaned the stable,
made a casserole,
and brought practical gifts.

But what they would have said when they left...?

"Did you see the sandals Mary was wearing with that gown?"
"That baby doesn't look anything like Joseph!"
"Virgin, my cough! I knew her in school!"
"Can you believe that they let all of those disgusting animals in the house?"
"I heard that Joseph isn't even working right now!"
"And that donkey that they are riding has seen better days too!"
"Want to bet on how long it will take until you get your casserole dish back?"

 

[Hvr]

Re: Get ready for some PUNishment...

How do you separate girl ants from boy ants?

Put them in water and the ants that sink are girl ants.

How do I know?

Because they aren't buoyant. :mrgreen:

 

[codash1099]

Re: Get ready for some PUNishment...


......................

 

[mrs.dr.ron]

Re: Get ready for some PUNishment...

I think they are wishing me merry xmas and happy new year !

Hello friends, family and colleagues, I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends, family and colleagues, but it is difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone.
So I met with my lawyers yesterday, and on their advice, I wish to say the following :
... Please accept, without prejudice and with no obligation, whether explicit implied or implicit;
My best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral celebration of the summer solstice holiday practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious / secular persuasions and / or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated, recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2017; but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that our country is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wisher.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms :
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her / him or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher."
Best Regards (without prejudice)
Name withheld (Privacy Act).

 

[drron]

Re: Get ready for some PUNishment...

Trigger warning.This one is for red neck misogynists-
No Cookies | Daily Telegraph

 

[anat0l]

Re: Get ready for some PUNishment...

Hope this picture links correctly.

I'm going to be in so much trouble for posting this.

These are toilet doors:

 

[drron]

Re: Get ready for some PUNishment...

So one door is for lawyers?

 

[Bundy Bear]

Reposting for those that don't do Facebook.



And some fast thinking friends who added this.



As most should be aware it's a Tiger A320 departing Adelaide, so they got one part right.

 

[JohnM]

As most should be aware it's a Tiger A320 departing Adelaide, so they got one part right.

The work experience kids in action again .

 

[love_the_life]

Seems to have disappeared from FB now.:shock:

 

[Boca68]

Seems to have disappeared from FB now.:shock:

I can see the work experience kid now.....

"It was like that when I got here".

"For $3 an hour, what were you expecting, Steve Wozniak!",

"All planes look the same to me??",

"When is lunch?"...

 

[cambriamarsh]

Re: Get ready for some PUNishment...

Hope this picture links correctly.

I'm going to be in so much trouble for posting this.

These are toilet doors:

Love it, even Mrs CM smiled