The totally off-topic thread

[JohnM]

What are you implying? I've been attracted to married women before (I am male), but know the lines I should not cross.

Workplaces are a hotbed of romance. Who is seeing who after work would surprise many...

You can get your appetite anywhere but best to eat at home...

 

[Pushka]

Cheating on a partner is just one form of marriage breakdown. But it is the one that grabs all the attention. I wonder how many marriages/partnerships breakdown because of a new relationship, versus, just the need to separate.

And does cheating automatically result in divorce or can it be worked through? Many marriages/partnerships seem to be able to do that.

 

[mono88]

In general, some people should never get married as they are not attuned for it.
If a mistake is made it is usually better to correct it in the best way possible you can.

 

[erkpod]

Preparing for night 3 at the Control Centre. Last night we had some rain but nowhere near enough to be useful. In some ways it was counter productive because it cut back on backburning. Indeed, 2 of my overnight strike teams were stood down for this reason.

Some of the Mets from Melbourne have been based in inner Sydney (Sydney officer, Melbourne crew & truck) to allow other crews to be sent elsewhere.

There's many different agencies in my Emergency Operations Centre & one of my jobs in the morning is to meet & greet them as they arrive.

 

[erkpod]

FB might add additional ways for someone to find a way to cheat, but yes.. The opportunities are always there. Workplaces are the worst really.

It's interesting to see who is with who in the workplace. In my workplace, many of the couples are actually on opposite shifts due to childcare etc.

Sometimes I wonder if it is better or not to stay together for the sake of the children. I've never been in that situation & people's situations are different.

 

[JohnK]

Let's be honest here. If someone is going to do something.. they are going to do it. FB or not.

I guess the key phrase is "Going to do it".

Call me old fashioned but if you are in a relationship an affair isnt the solution to ending that relationship. The problem with some people is they are always in a relationship.

 

[jukebox333]

*snip*
It also sounds like from your last post that perhaps you have taken the action to dissolve the marriage and not her once you found out. Her reaction might change once she gets over that shock. As might yours.

Again, try keep your adult hat on, which must just about be impossible under such circumstances.

I only packed her bags when I saw emails indicating she was "keeping the peace" until it suited her to leave. To be honest, it has given me a hell of a lot of emotional comfort to know I was able to tell her "You've made up your mind; Just go....".

Let's be honest here. If someone is going to do something.. they are going to do it. FB or not.

Yes, FB was just the conduit that raised my suspicions. The affair began, I believe, though time spent together as "Leaders" on Scout camps. Just the sort of moral compass young kids need to learn, eh?

Cheating on a partner is just one form of marriage breakdown. But it is the one that grabs all the attention. I wonder how many marriages/partnerships breakdown because of a new relationship, versus, just the need to separate.

And does cheating automatically result in divorce or can it be worked through? Many marriages/partnerships seem to be able to do that.

Had she not been hell bent on imploding our 19 years, I would have gladly done councilling - and whatever was needed to try and keep the family together (those of you who have seen my TR's know how much they mean to me). But she didnt even have the courage to sit down and try and work through it - classic aversion personality, apparently...

I guess the key phrase is "Going to do it".

Call me old fashioned but if you are in a relationship an affair isnt the solution to ending that relationship. The problem with some people is they are always in a relationship.

Yes, I agree - but I'm not sure what saddens me more: that if she has made the wrong call, how she will feel when she wakes up sees the damage she has done... or that she never comprehends the depth of the loss.

Anyhoo - just needed to vent and put my drama out there. No point dwelling on it, as it can't be undone. Back to talk of planes, lounges and French champagne, I think!

 

[erkpod]

Night 3 at my control centre. We have no strike teams out tonight - probably due in part to the interstaters being in town.

Here's a video someone else shot of a Melbourne Met pumper leaving City of Sydney fire station today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yd-Fp1PuleQ

 

[jetlagger]

I only packed her bags when I saw emails indicating she was "keeping the peace" until it suited her to leave. To be honest, it has given me a hell of a lot of emotional comfort to know I was able to tell her "You've made up your mind; Just go....".




Yes, FB was just the conduit that raised my suspicions. The affair began, I believe, though time spent together as "Leaders" on Scout camps. Just the sort of moral compass young kids need to learn, eh?



Had she not been hell bent on imploding our 19 years, I would have gladly done councilling - and whatever was needed to try and keep the family together (those of you who have seen my TR's know how much they mean to me). But she didnt even have the courage to sit down and try and work through it - classic aversion personality, apparently...



Yes, I agree - but I'm not sure what saddens me more: that if she has made the wrong call, how she will feel when she wakes up sees the damage she has done... or that she never comprehends the depth of the loss.

Anyhoo - just needed to vent and put my drama out there. No point dwelling on it, as it can't be undone. Back to talk of planes, lounges and French champagne, I think!

So sorry to hear.. Please try to stay positive & IMO yes it's best to share your experience. It's never easy though.

 

[drron]

All the best jukebox.It appears the venting has helped.
I do agree with some of the others here though just think carefully with the children.
Just tell them you love them and will always be there for them.Dont make them pick sides.
Quite a few years ago my sister went through a bitter divorce but this is what she did for her children.Her daughter sticks with her mother but tolerates her father.Her son has good relationships with both parents.And at times both mother and father will be present on social occasions.
On the other hand we saw our best friends divorce.That family is totally fractured.

So all the best for the future and once again talk of travel.

 

[erkpod]

Something to lighten the mood.

 

[cove]

That answer did not seem quite correct.

On the train to Fairfield reading AFF. Picked up a reasonably modern train with a padded seat. Minding the gap of course.

 

[Mal]

My workmates and I sometimes have team lunches near work. Sometimes they are corporately sponsored, sometimes we pay our own way.

Uggh at payment time when it isn't sponsored. One restaurant pings us for 'service' yet no one (apart from me) actually accounts for that when split paying. Yes you can ask for service to be removed, but that particular place is very difficult to deal with. Always ends up that we have underpaid by £x and someone pays the levy (someone else did last week, I did today)

My colleagues need training

 

[anat0l]

My workmates and I sometimes have team lunches near work. Sometimes they are corporately sponsored, sometimes we pay our own way.

Uggh at payment time when it isn't sponsored. One restaurant pings us for 'service' yet no one (apart from me) actually accounts for that when split paying. Yes you can ask for service to be removed, but that particular place is very difficult to deal with. Always ends up that we have underpaid by £x and someone pays the levy (someone else did last week, I did today)

My colleagues need training

Guess that's one way to do it - everyone take turns in paying the "tip" (which is essentially what it is; "optional service" just sounds more genteel than the American "tip"). For a group lunch, however, I'd imagine that'd be a fair impost each time. Certainly, the first round of drinks at the pub can't be on you after that!

Actually, some people (not international all the time!) also forget to factor in the tip when splitting the bill in the USA (let alone the sales taxes).

 

[JohnK]

How embarrassment!

 

[erkpod]

That answer did not seem quite correct.

On the train to Fairfield reading AFF. Picked up a reasonably modern train with a padded seat. Minding the gap of course.

Standing clear of the doors?

 

[Pushka]

<snip>

Had she not been hell bent on imploding our 19 years, I would have gladly done councilling - and whatever was needed to try and keep the family together (those of you who have seen my TR's know how much they mean to me). But she didnt even have the courage to sit down and try and work through it - classic aversion personality, apparently...

Anyhoo - just needed to vent and put my drama out there. No point dwelling on it, as it can't be undone. Back to talk of planes, lounges and French champagne, I think!

Again, all the best. Sometimes when you know you have done wrong (even if you are pursuing something you want to do) then you can't bear to talk about it. Or you deny the damage you've caused as it is too much to think about. Try to stay positive (although there will be times when that is impossible, but that will pass), think of the kids, and you will get through it as best as you can.

A friend of ours was in a similar position and has been for the last few weeks. Same length of marriage. It was all going reasonably well but her lawyers seemed to have convinced her to extract as much as possible. And it has cost her tens of thousands of dollars she doesnt have, to pursue that.

 

[jetlagger]

Not a good start to the day after losing my precious iPad.

I did manage to catch up with Airwin in BNE QP for a coffee though

 

[anat0l]

Not a good start to the day after losing my precious iPad.

Did you immediately jump onto Find My Device? (Or whatever the Apple thing is called)

 

[Pollywaffle]

Last week while channel surfing I caught the tail-end of a Mr. Men episode. I had to laugh because it could easily have been written by AFFers and other DYKWIAers.

After looking for the episode online, I saw a second one that shows similar behaviour. They're 10mins each but offer a couple of laughs.

The Mr Men Show - Flying (UK) - YouTube

The Mr Men Show-Episode 057- Airports.wmv - YouTube