anat0l - I don't know you, and but have "recognised" your posts here since I first started lurking. I am not a relationship professional, but I can tell you that community, being it real tangible people around you, or in this day and age, on line such as AFF, is one of the best ways to keep an even keel in times of emotional turmoil.
When my marriage fell apart two years ago - not of my doing - I was left feeling battered, isolated, with almost zero support network - and it was the likes of people here on AFF, and a handful of other outlets, as well as neighbours I'd rarely interacted with other than a casual "Hello" as we passed in the street during the 19 years of living were I do, that got me by. Human interaction; judge-less, supportive, and virtual hand on the shoulder stuff - that this 48 year old man didn't do well.
Be open to that. Encourage it.
Life is a lot lot simpler accumulating toys, fine wine, and seat upgrades. They are the distractions that we've been fooled into thinking matter the most.
I'm sure you will find the answer to your questions. Don't rush. They need to come to you, not you to them.
Good luck!